LARRY THE CABLE GUY / For the Lincoln Journal Star | Posted: Thursday, November 2, 2006 6:00 pm
My brother got in trouble Halloween night. He went toilet-papering houses with friends and who hasn’t? However, someone needs to tell my brother to use fresh toilet paper. Stupid for a 50-year-old! Speakin’ of toilet paper, I’m about to make my picks, so feel free to use this part of the paper if you’re deer huntin’ and have to go.
Kansas 24, Iowa St. 20
At halftime, Hostess gives Coach Mangino a lifetime achievement award. For the record, I got one from Culvers.
Tennessee 21, LSU 17
Fun fact: Neyland Stadium leads the SEC in misspelled bathroom graffiti.
Oregon 35, Washington 20
I don’t know what’s greener — Oregon’s uniforms or teeth in Joplin.
K-State 24, Colorado 17
Wake Forest 24, Boston College 21
What do you want to bet they show the Doug Flutie pass 32 times before the final quarter?
South Carolina 27, Arkansas 21
The school chants are Go Cocks! and Woo Pig Sooey! Write your own joke here. I ain’t touchin’ it!
Oklahoma 31, Texas A&M 27
They have a Hank Williams Jr. High School in Oklahoma. I just can’t figure out if it’s Hank Williams Junior High School or Hank Williams Jr. High School. It doesn’t matter. No one graduated from either one!
Virginia Tech 17, Miami 13
Most popular phrase heard at Orange Bowl by fans attending? “I’m goin’ to get a hot dog … cover me!!”
Michigan State 21, Purdue 13
Fired coach says the heck with it and doesn’t show. Beano Cook fills in, wins, and then signs autographs as kids think he’s Jabba The Hutt.
And finally … drum roll …
CORNHUSKERS (goin’ back to old school) rebound and beat Mizzou 31-21
At halftime, Ben Nelson and Pete Ricketts mud-wrestle in thongs.
See ya at the game.
Love,
Larry the Cable Guy (Git-r-done!)