Dear Mr. Sportsknowitall: Why are all these football announcers raving about a team "controlling its own destiny." Destiny, or fate, for that matter, is something you can't control, isn't it? R.P.

Last week, during postgame interviews after the Nebraska-KU game, Bo Pelini, Zac Lee and Ndamukong Suh all said, "We control our own destiny."

James Engelhart, editor of the Prairie Schooner and answerer of the telephone at the NU English Department, said, "No way. That's like saying you drive a car and you control all of traffic. There is the problem of other idiots on the road."

Mr. Sportsknowitall knew a dancer named "Destiny," and she was never under control.

Look, "destiny" is defined as that which any person or thing is destined, predetermined or foreordained by the divine, human will, fate, lot or doom. Or as Mongo says in "Blazing Saddles," "Mongo just pawn in game of life."

You can't control your luck. Just ask Odysseus, Hamlet, Richard III, Bill Callahan, Winston Churchill or Lou Piniella.

I know that is a jejune approach. To quote Woody Allen and Diane Keaton in "Love and Death," "There is a moral imperative. But that is subjective and subjectivity is objective."

Look, we put up with announcers that try to make a point about statistics that are based on coincidence. Such as, "There are more touchdowns scored in Division I now than 10 years ago." Not noting there are more teams and more games in Division I than 10 years ago.

Dear Mr. Sportsknowitall: You mentioned getting rid of helmets to cut down on head injuries in football. Were you just trying to be funny? M.L.

A report by a college football rules committee in 1906 noted that hard, unyielding equipment was responsible for a significant number of injuries. As for trying to be funny, that battle was lost long ago.

Dear Mr. Sportsknowitall: If a team runs two tight ends on one side of the ball to create an unbalanced line, are they both eligible to catch passes? D.D.

Nope. Only the players at the two ends of the line, who have numbers not 50-79 (in college and high school), or who in the NFL have reported to the refs, and the up to four eligible players in the backfield - quarterback, slotback, H-back, fullback, Wildcat back, halfback, wingback can catch the ball. By "covering" the one tight end with another tight end, the inside tight end is treated as a guard, tackle or center and is not eligible.

Reach Mr. Sportsknowitall at 473-7313 or khambleton@journalstar.com or watch on journalstar.com.

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