Posted: Wednesday, December 21, 2005 6:00 pm
It’s 1:30 and still no Bill. Every Monday, Bill Lane stops by the Captain’s Chair for a quick shave.
He doesn’t have an appointment, says Jerry Amen, owner of the two-chair shop on P Street. They just fit him in. Bill calls Jerry “Captain.”
Jerry and his barber son-in-law, Gary Haun, call him “Wild Bill.” He’s been coming in for at least 10 years now. Usually, Bill walks in between 1 and 1:30, Jerry says. I come early, just in case.
One of Jerry’s customers called to tell me about Bill and his new TV. He thought it might make a nice story.
The TV is there Monday, a 19-inch Toshiba, still in its box over in a corner. But no Bill.
They don’t know a lot about Bill, Jerry says while we wait. They know he lives in University Place. They know he’s 58 because he teases Jerry about his age.
Let’s see. I think you’re about 65, Captain.
They know he can’t read or write and that his sister signs the check for his shave every week. They know he is a champion Special Olympics standing broad jumper and he had his picture taken with President Nixon once and he likes to watch wrestling on TV.
They know he’s a janitor downtown, working the evening shift at the Federal Building. They know he rides the bus. They know if he misses his bus, he starts walking.
That must be what happened today, Gary says.
It’s 2 p.m. The big gold barber chairs fill up and empty again. There’s a little volleyball talk. A little Alamo Bowl talk. A little what-about-Bo-Ruud talk and a little what’s-up-with-Wali-Muhammad talk.
During a lull, Gary and Jerry explain how the Toshiba ended up in the corner.
Bill was having his whiskers shaved last Monday as usual. Gary asked him about his weekend.
Did you watch any of the football games?
No I didn’t, Bill answered. My television’s busted. It went out during that lightning storm.
When was that?
Oh, back in August or September.
Jerry had one of his regulars in his chair that day.
What’s the story with that guy? He asked when Bill left.
The barbers told him. The next day the customer called. I’d like to buy that fellow a new television. If I bring it down, will you see to it he gets it?
The customer didn’t want any recognition. Just tell Bill the TV came from one of Santa’s elves, he told Jerry.
It’s 2:30. A young guy with red hair comes in for a trim. A man with colorful tattoos wants a mini-mohawk. Another young man loses his curly beard.
At 3:30, a short man opens the door. He is wearing two coats and two hats, pulled down low over his eyes. “You’re late,” Jerry says.
“I’m not here as early as I usually am,” Bill answers. “Is that what you mean, Captain?”
He smiles and Jerry laughs. Gary finishes the mini-mohawk. Bill climbs in the chair.
You gotta take your hat off, Bill.
Bill climbs down and takes off the black cowboy hat and the black stocking cap.
Gary starts to tell him the story of the TV and Santa’s elf. He turns the chair so Bill can see the box.
“That’s my TV? I get to take it with me?”
Yes, that’s your TV.
“How much money do I owe for it?”
Nothing. It’s a present.
“That’s really a nice present.”
Gary takes a straight edge to Bill’s whiskers. They make a plan to get the TV to Bill’s house. Gary will bring it on Saturday.
“That’s really a nice present, to get a TV,” Bill says again. “Do I owe anything for it?”
No, it’s free.
“My, that’s really something. That’s really a Christmas present.”
Gary finishes up. That look OK, Bill?
Bill’s face is smooth.
He hasn’t had a TV for three or four months, he says putting his coats back on and pulling the cap over his balding head.
“I’ll be tickled to death to get it back. That’s really some present.”
His story will be in the paper and on on the Web site Thursday, Gary tells him. A story about the Christmas spirit at the barber shop.
“Come on down Thursday and we’ll read it to you.”
Reach Cindy Lange-Kubick at 473-7218 or clangekubick@journalstar.com.