When I first started wearing the purple bracelet, I was afraid it might make my tongue sore.

That’s because I was biting my tongue so often to keep from saying the wrong thing.

Seventeen of us in the Journal Star newsroom took up the challenge to try to go 21 consecutive days without complaining.  The project began Jan. 1, and by the end of the month none of us reported success.

About the longest anyone went without uttering a single complaint was five days.  Most never made it more than a couple of consecutive days.

Online reporter Jodie Fawl reported that the longest she went was 19 hours, which ended with her yelling at her dog.  Copy editor Sandi Czapla said she went for 24 hours without complaining three different times, but toward the end of the month she stopped trying so hard.

But most participants agreed that while they failed to tally 21 straight complaint-free days, they did learn a lot about themselves — and those around them.

“It’s made me stop and think about what I say,” said reporter Kathy Moore. “I probably haven’t gone more than 36 hours.  It’s easier when you’re by yourself, and it’s harder at work — especially when you’re meeting deadlines.”

The rule of the exercise, the brainchild of the Rev. Will Bowen, a Unity minister in Kansas City, is that whenever you complain, you have to switch the purple bracelet from one wrist to the other. If you can go 21 days without switching, he says, you’ve formed a new habit and it’s more likely to stick.

Visitors to the Journal Star Web site may have been reading the “No Complaints” blog we had up all month, sharing our experiences.

A lot of us agreed that it’s harder to stop complaining at work than at home or in social situations. Let’s face it, journalism is one of the most high-stress professions.

Jodie admitted that during one phone call at work she took the bracelet off to avoid having to switch it.

Two days into the project, finishing tech Thomas Glenn said he was averaging two complaints a day. “If a baseline were to be done before this project started, I would not be surprised if I were having 15 vocal dissatisfactions a day, so I feel pretty good about it. Hopefully, those around me have noticed a difference.”

The wristbands themselves were a cause for some complaints.  When reporter Joe Duggan received his, he objected to the color, and reporter Cara Pesek blogged that one of her first thoughts was, “I cannot wear a purple plastic bracelet. Soooo not my style.” 

Cara said she immediately felt bad about complaining about the bracelet, but “I then substituted a plain gold bangle, and it’s working out just fine.”

Jodie misplaced her bracelet, so she substituted a blue one.  Kathy lost hers and found an orange one to replace it. 

In a telephone interview, Bowen said it doesn’t matter whether you wear a purple bracelet, or a rubber band, or have rock that you switch from pocket to pocket.  The important thing is to have something tangible as a reminder.

One of the biggest problems many of us had was telling the difference between a complaint or a statement of fact. For example, earlier this week it was really cold and we all were talking about it — but how much of that was really complaining?

“A complaint is when you express grief, pain or discontent, when you want something changed,” Bowen said.  “It has to do with your energy behind it.  Usually when I tell people that, they say, ‘OK, I get it.’”

After a few days, most of us in the project were griping less frequently and stopping to think before we spoke.  I’ve always had a bad habit of yelling at my computer when it’s slow or when I hit the wrong keys (it’s the computer’s fault, of course) or when I lost something I just typed.  I’ve made a conscious effort to stop that, and I believe I’ve succeeded. 

I’ve also caught myself rephrasing (or often not saying) something that was nothing more than a minor complaint.  Who else wants to hear all that stuff?

But as we made some changes in our own verbal behavior, many participants in the project said they’ve become more aware of the complaints they hear all around them.

That’s a natural reaction, too.  “Complaining is like bad breath,” Bowen said.  “You know it when it comes out of someone else’s mouth and not yours.”

Copy editor George Wright said he had the most difficulty not complaining when he was behind the wheel of his car.  His biggest gripes?  “Tailgaters and cell phone users who can’t talk and drive.”

According to the rules, if he  entertained those negative thoughts in his head but didn’t say them out loud, he didn’t have to move the bracelet.  But George couldn’t help muttering.

Reporter Al Laukaitis said his biggest problem was gossiping.  Bowen classifies gossip as complaining, whenever you say something about someone who isn’t present that you wouldn’t say to their face.

“I’ve discovered that gossip makes up a big part of our conversation,” he said.  “And it’s harder to always say positive things rather than negative.  It’s boring.  It’s not as interesting as saying something juicy.”

Sometimes people object to going cold turkey on complaints, arguing that “letting off steam” is good for people.  Online producer Anthony Roberts, blogged about the therapeutic value of venting to his wife about problems at work.

But Bowen argues that people actually feel better if they don’t express their gripes.  Rather than internalizing them and letting them fester, learning not to verbalize will eventually teach your mind not to feel upset in the first place, he says.

“It’s like your mind is a manufacturer and your mouth is a customer.  If the mouth stops buying what the manufacturer is making, it has to retool.”

Calendar clerk Jane Swanson said the project reinforced her belief in keeping a positive attitude and seeing humor in everyday situations.

She told about having a sewer backup in her basement, causing more than $10,000 worth of damage, much of which wasn’t covered by insurance. “It was very frustrating, maddening and disheartening, but complaining wasn’t going to get anything straightened out,” she said. 

Non-complaining is good for both mental and physical health, she said.  “Petty complaints just bring one down and turn one into a petty person.  Look for a good thought and express it and you will feel much better and the world around you will feel better.”

Bowen’s campaign started in the summer of 2006 when he preached a sermon about not complaining and passed out purple wrist bands to his congregation. The idea caught on, and soon he was getting requests from  all over the country for purple bracelets.

After his appearance on the “Oprah Winfrey Show” last March, the requests skyrocketed.  To date, he’s distributed about 5 million bracelets, all with a staff of volunteers. 

His book “A Complaint Free World” came out in October, and has generated even more interest. 

The Rev. Carole Lunde, pastor of Lincoln’s Christ Unity Church, saw Bowen on “Oprah” and was inspired to take up the challenge.  She began last spring, and one of the first things she discovered was that as she did her exercise walking on a south Lincoln bike trail,  she kept mentally complaining about trash along the trail.

“Instead of grumbling, I decided to do something about it,” she said.  She started carrying plastic bags and picking up trash.  After a while, “I found I wasn’t complaining any more. I was on a treasure hunt.”

Last summer, she had purple bracelets for everyone in her church, and urged them to the challenge. Many did, and reported that their behavior and attitudes changed as a result.

Lunde remembered one woman who bragged about telling people off: “When I blister someone, they stay blistered,” she said.

“I told her, ‘The only one who gets blistered is you,’” Lunde said. 

She added: “If you’re looking for insults, you’ll find them.  I always say that happiness is an inside job.”

Bowen downplays the spiritual side of the  program because he believes anyone can benefit from not complaining.

Nevertheless, he noted that a positive outlook is common to most of the world’s religions.

“One of Unity’s basic principles is: ‘Thoughts held in mind produce after their kind,’” Bowen said.  “What you’re thinking about is what you’re drawn to do.”

 He quoted the opening chapter of the Bible, which says God created the earth in six days, and each day God said it was good. “On the sixth day when he created human beings, he said, ‘It is very good,’” Bowen said.

“So what is there to gripe about?”

Reach Bob Reeves at 473-7212 or breeves@journalstar.com.