1. Lose weight.

2. Get out of debt.

3. Be a better person/parent.

After nearly 48 years on earth, these New Year’s resolutions repeat like an annoying “skip” an old vinyl LP.

But it doesn’t have to be that way, say experts.

And odds for success can greatly improve when resolutions are a joint effort — a family commitment, say experts.

The new year is all about new beginnings and fresh starts — so what better way to get 2008 off to a great beginning than focusing on what is most important in life — your family.

A survey by myGoals.com found  improved relationships and more time with family is one of the top three resolutions made every New Year’s.

And it is rapidly gaining in importance.

“Of all socially oriented goals, those related to family jumped dramatically from 13 percent last year to 63 percent this year,” said Greg Helmstetter, CEO of myGoals.com.

The problem in keeping family resolutions is that we tend to think of them as our personal commitment — rather than a group effort by everyone in the family.

That is the fatal flaw, according to James Stowers and Jack Jonathan, authors of “Yes, You Can … Reach Your Goals and Achieve Your Dreams.”

The best way to make and keep family resolutions is to sit down and set them as a family, Stowers said.

Schedule a family meeting. Encourage everyone to come prepared with ideas for family resolutions.

Discuss everyone’s ideas. Decide together what to focus on during the new year,  Jonathan said.

Make sure you set “well-rounded” resolutions. Instead of focusing on fitness or diet, focus on several areas, such as positive attitude, passion for knowledge, and physical, social and financial well-being, he said.

The national YMCA Web site, suggests families focus resolutions on three key areas: spirit, mind and body.

Set a variety of resolutions to  create more opportunities for success. When one resolution starts to get tough, achieving success on another can boost confidence, the YMCA states.

That said, be careful not to overresolve. 

 And make sure your family resolutions are specific, realistic and measurable.

Develop resolutions that include the whole family and consider each person’s starting point, the YMCA recommends. Phrase resolutions so that they focus on the positive — instead of vowing to give up high-fat foods, resolve to focus on healthier habits you can add to your lifestyle.

Look for success in small increments. Set short-term goals. Avoid all-or-nothing thinking, the YMCA site recommends.

Once everyone has agreed on the family’s resolutions, write them down and post them somewhere that everyone can see, Jonathan said.

“By constantly reminding yourself of your resolutions and taking positive actions, you can quickly form new habits,” he said.

The story of your success

You know the saying about old habits being hard to break, and the oft-repeated statistic that you must do something 21 days before it becomes a new habit.

So here are ways to track and celebrate your successes

1. Post progress. Make resolution posters and charts to track family progress.

2. Celebrate small successes with positive and healthy rewards.

3. Prepare for setbacks. Simply call the family together to get restarted. Instead of thinking of setbacks as failures, think of them as  signals for calling the troops together for reinforcement.

4. Work together. These are family resolutions. If someone is struggling, brainstorm a new strategy to make it work — such as pitching in with the housework, so mom can get her workout time.

Now, you’re ready to set those 2008 family resolutions.

Still struggling to come up with ideas of what to resolve? Here are some suggestions from Stowers, Jonathan and the YMCA:

* Building a strong spirit

1. Connect with family.

— Plan a family outing.

— Work on a family project together.

— Eat dinner together at least once a week. Be sure to turn off the TV and talk to one another.

2. Connect with extended family and friends.

— Call once a month.

— E-mail “just because.”

— Get to know your neighbors.

— Participate as a family in a community service project.

— Cultivate cross-generational friendships. Make new friends outside your age group. Find ways for you and your family to interact with people of all ages by visiting a nursing home, spending more time with grandparents, or becoming more involved in community organizations.

3. Reconnect with yourself.

— Do something that fulfills your spirit.

— Commit to regular quiet time.

— Volunteer to help someone else.

— Be kind to others.

4. Improve your attitude through gratitude.

 — Say thank you.

— Find humor in everyday life.

— Set aside time every day to reflect on things you are grateful for.

* Building a strong mind

1. Increase your passion through  knowledge.

— Take a class.

— Learn a new language.

— Start a new hobby.

2. Spend more time reading and learning new words.

— Join a book club. Create a family book club. Instead of renting movies read and discuss a book together.

— Expand your vocabulary. Learn new words.

— Play word/number games with your family.

* Building a strong body

1. Maintain your health.

— Adopt good eating habits

— Exercise.

— See your doctor for regular checkups.

 2. Make health a family affair.

— Include the kids in meal planning, cooking and grocery-list making.

— Exercise mind and body by playing sports, completing puzzles and having fun as a family.

— Limit fast food to once a month or less.

— Limit soda and sugary drinks.

— Add at least one fresh fruit snack to your daily routine

— Switch to whole-grain breads, pasta and cereals

— Plan a pantry raid, read labels and remove foods that don’t fit into your healthier eating plan. Then shop and restock with healthier items.

3. Increase physical activity and play.

— Spend 30 minutes outside playing with your kids, regardless of the weather.

— Pick a 5K fun run/walk that’s a few months away, and train to do it as a family.

—  Be mindful of choosing activities that are fun for both you and the family and will allow you to engage with others.

* Building a strong family

The Legacy Project encourages families to focus on one another, build traditions and celebrate memories. Make an effort to:

— Encourage everyone to share their hopes and dreams for the new year.

—  Make a “Family Walk of Fame” highlighting the talents of each person.

— Play Family Memories Quiz Bowl. Write questions on slips of paper and see who remembers past family events and experiences.

— Prompt family storytelling with a game of “Did You Ever…?” Children and adults can share stories and compare memories from different times such as: Did you ever go on a boat? Sleep in a cabin or tent? Stay on a farm? Act in a play?

Regardless of what you resolve, the key word is family, Stowers said.

“Working together as a family and maintaining a positive attitude will go a long way in helping keep those 2008 resolutions.

“Setting goals, both at New Year’s and throughout the year, is one way people can achieve their dreams,” Stowers said. “As I reflect on what I have learned through the years, I am convinced that anyone — and I mean anyone — can become what they are absolutely determined to be.”

Reach Erin Andersen at 473-7217 or eandersen@journalstar.com.

The buck stops here

One-third of all New Year’s resolutions include the words: save money/reduce debt.

But, as with most resolutions, the failure rate is tremendous — 52 percent, according to a survey by Opinion Research Corp. for DayTimers, Inc.

Here are a few tips for saving money and spending smartly in 2008:

1. Be your own barista. Make your own coffee at home rather than getting a latte every morning.

2. Be your own chef. Plan for meals you have to eat out, and grocery shop for all the ones you can eat in. Remember to pack a lunch for work.

3. Schlep rather than ship. Consider shipping costs when buying online. Plan your shopping trips so you can do everything in one trip.

4. Consider generic over name-brands.

5. Save on sales. Almost everything you want eventually will go on sale. But be careful, not all sales save money — some encourage you to spend more money than you planned just to get a special deal.

6. Before every purchase, take a deep breath and think: Do I really need this? Can it wait? Is it worth the cost?

7. Pay in cash. Consumers tend to spend 25 percent to 30 percent more on average when they use credit cards.

8. Don’t make late payments — it can drop your credit score 100 points.

9. Don’t fall for the “10 percent off if you sign up for a card today” gimmick — every time you do your credit score is negatively affected.

10. Ask your credit card companies for interest reductions. Many will comply if you are in good standing.

11. If you must make large purchases with credit, use no-interest financing options.

12. Monitor all three credit bureau reports. The information varies in each of them.

13. Check for duplications in your credit report. Many consolidated student loans show up twice.

14. Never use more than 25 percent to 30 percent of the available credit limit on your credit cards. For example, if you have a credit limit of $3,000, never go above $750 to $1,000.

15. Intermittently use all of your credit cards so they will not become inactive and cancelled by the credit card company or not reported to credit bureaus because of inactivity.

 Sources: Todd Cook, president of Debt.com; Kimberly Danger, founder of www.mommysavers.com;

and Stephanie McCutchan, founder

of Andorra Credit Repair Corp.

A clean car for mom

In the scope of New Year’s resolutions, keeping the car clean is not in the top 10.

But, if you are a mom with a car, you know that deep down inside you wish your car could be crumb-free, clutter-busted  and — dare we say it? — organized!

Mother Proof, an online vehicle information site specifically for women and mothers, gives us four tips for creating a cleaner mom-mobile:

1. Don’t put a lot of stuff in your car in the first place. Items that go in your car should be necessities.

2. Keep a small basket or organizers in your cargo area to house items like first-aid kits, sunscreen, wipes and diapers, plus anything else you would like to keep in there.  Look for a trunk organizer with Velcro, hooks or mounts so you can avoid having it slide all over the place.

3. Don’t buy  CD holders, sunglass clips or anything else that attaches to the sun visor. They almost never work as promised, and usually wind up looking junky and messy. In addition, they render the visor useless. If you can’t find proper space for a few CDs and their cases, it’s time to tidy the car and jump back to Rule 1.

4. Hit the car wash regularly. One of the best things to happen to your newfound car-cleanliness habit is the neighborhood drive-through car wash.

 Source: Mother Proof (www.motherproof.com)

Resolutions for kids

The American Academy of Pediatrics gives kids these 20 safe and healthy ideas for New Year’s resolutions in 2008:

Preschoolers

1. I will clean up my toys.

2. I will brush my teeth twice a day, and wash my hands after going to the bathroom and before eating.

3. I won’t tease dogs — even friendly ones. I will avoid being bitten by keeping my fingers and face away from their mouths.

Ages: 5 to 12

4. I will drink milk and water, and limit soda and fruit drinks.

5. I will apply sunscreen before I go outdoors.  I will try to stay in the shade whenever possible and wear a hat and sunglasses, especially when I’m playing sports.

6. I will try to find a sport (like basketball or soccer) or an activity (like playing tag, jumping rope, dancing or riding my bike) that I like, and do it at least three times a week.

7. I will always wear a helmet when bicycling.

8. I will wear my seat belt every time I get in a car. I’ll sit in the back seat and use a booster seat until I am tall enough to use a lap/shoulder seat belt.

9. I’ll be nice to other kids. I’ll be friendly to kids who need friends — like someone who is shy, or is new to my school.

10. I’ll never give out personal information, such as my name, home address, school name or telephone number on the Internet.  Also, I’ll never send a picture of myself to someone I chat with on the computer without a parent’s permission.

Ages: 13 and up

11. I will eat at least one fruit and one vegetable every day, and I will limit the amount of soda I drink.

12. I will take care of my body through physical activity and nutrition.

13. I will choose nonviolent television shows and video games, and I will spend only one to two hours each day — at the most — on these activities.

14. I will help out in my community — through volunteering, working with community groups or by joining a group that helps people in need.

15. I will wipe negative “self-talk” (i.e. “I can’t do it” or “I’m so dumb”) out of my vocabulary.

16. When I feel angry or stressed out, I will take a break and find constructive ways to deal with the stress, such as exercising, reading, writing in a journal or discussing my problem with a parent or friend.

17. When faced with a difficult decision, I will talk with an adult about my choices.

18. I will be careful about whom I choose to date, and always treat the other person with respect and without coercion or violence. 

19. I will resist peer pressure to try drugs and alcohol.

20. When I notice my friends are struggling or engaging in risky behaviors, I will talk with a trusted adult and attempt to find a way that I can help them.