Here’s 25 ways to be a fantastic parent
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PARENTS / MCT
Throughout the year, the “Parents” board of advisers — a brain trust of the best pediatric doctors, developmental experts and educators in the country —shares the latest thinking about raising happy and healthy kids in the pages of the magazine. Here are some of the all-time best nuggets of their advice:
1. Play with your children — Let them choose the activity, and don’t worry about rules. Just go with the flow and have fun.
2. Put your baby to bed drowsy, but still awake — This helps your child learn to soothe himself to sleep and prevents bedtime problems down the line.
3. Take charge — Children crave limits, which help them understand and manage an often confusing world.
4. Eat at least one meal as a family each day — Sitting down at the table together is a relaxed way for everyone to connect — a time to share happy news, talk about the day or tell a silly joke.
5. Don’t clip your child’s wings — Your toddler’s mission in life is to gain independence. So when she’s developmentally capable of putting her toys away, cleaning her plate from the table and dressing herself, let her. Giving a child responsibility is good for her self-esteem (and your sanity!).
6. Read books together every day. Get started when he’s a newborn; babies love listening to the sound of their parents’ voices.
7. Get your kids vaccinated — Outbreaks of measles and other diseases still occur in our country and throughout the world.
8. Acknowledge his strong emotions — When your child’s meltdown is over, ask him, “How did that feel?” and “What do you think would have made it better?” Then listen to him. He’ll recover from a tantrum more easily if you let him talk it out.
9. Love your children equally, but treat them uniquely. They’re individuals.
10. Say “I love you” whenever you feel it, even if it’s 743 times a day — You simply cannot spoil a child with too many mushy words of affection and too many smooches.
11. Avoid food fights — A healthy child instinctively knows how much to eat. If he refuses to finish whatever food is on his plate, just let it go. He won’t starve.
12. Just say “no” — Resist the urge to take on extra obligations at the office or become the Volunteer Queen at your child’s school. You will never, ever regret spending more time with your children.
13. Don’t try to fix everything — Give young kids a chance to find their own solutions. When you lovingly acknowledge a child’s minor frustrations without immediately rushing in to save her, you teach her self-reliance and resilience.
14. Kiss and hug your spouse in front of the kids — Your marriage is the only example your child has of what an intimate relationship looks, feels and sounds like. It’s your job to set a great standard.
15. Teach your baby to sign — Just because a child can’t talk, doesn’t mean there isn’t lots that she’d like to say. Simple signs can help you know what she needs and even how she feels well before she has the words to tell you.
16. Keep the tube in the family room — Research has repeatedly shown that children with a TV in their bedroom weigh more, sleep less and have lower grades and poorer social skills.
17. Know when to toilet train — Look for these two signs your child is ready to use the potty: He senses the urge to pee and poop (this is different from knowing that he’s already gone), and he asks for a diaper change.
18. Respect parenting differences — Support your spouse’s basic approach to raising kids — unless it’s way out of line. Criticizing or arguing with your partner will do more harm to your marriage and your child’s sense of security than if you accept standards that are different from your own.
19. Listen to your doctor — If your pediatrician thinks your kid’s fever is caused by a virus, don’t push for antibiotics. Overprescribing antibiotics can cause medical problems for your child and increase the chances of creating superbugs that resist treatment.
20. Give appropriate praise — Instead of simply saying, “You’re great,” try to be specific about what your child did to deserve the positive feedback.
21. Encourage daddy time — The greatest untapped resource available for improving the lives of our children is time with Dad — early and often. Kids with engaged fathers do better in school, problem solve more successfully and generally cope better with whatever life throws at them.
22. Cheer the good stuff — When you notice your child doing something helpful or nice, let him know how you feel. It’s a great way to reinforce good behavior so he’s more likely to keep doing it.
23. Let your kids place an order — Once a week, allow your children to choose what’s for dinner and cook it for them.
24. Remember that discipline is not punishment — Enforcing limits is really about teaching kids how to behave in the world and helping them to become competent, caring and in control.
25. Keep in mind what Grandma always says — Children are not yours, they are only lent to you for a time. In those fleeting years, do your best to help them grow up to be good people.
For more tips, pick up the latest issue of Parents magazine or visit www.parents.com.
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