What to tell the kids about money woes
If the economy is making things difficult for your family, don’t try to keep it a secret from the kids.
“Kids are amazing at being able to read the adults in their lives — particularly adults on whom they depend,” said Nancy Mize, outpatient service director at Lincoln’s Child Guidance Center.
But do be careful about what you say. Children, especially younger ones, tend to magnify what they hear.
If you say, “We can’t afford to eat that,” they may hear, “We can’t afford to eat.”
* Kids need — and deserve — honest, straightforward talk. And it helps to frame things in a positive light, Mize said.
Rather than say we can no longer afford to go out to dinner and the movies, tell them that the family is working together to save money, so you’re looking for other ways to have fun, like going on picnics, renting movies and walking to places you want to visit.
* Involve the whole family.
“It is important to have a plan in place where each child has the capacity to help,” Mize said.
Younger kids can help with chores. Older kids can cut back on their allowance or use some of their lawn-mowing/baby-sitting income to help the family.
* Hold family meetings.
Talk about priorities for spending money. Let kids know family-spending habits are changing. Explain what that may mean for them — a smaller birthday wish-list, fewer meals out and special activities like trips, movies, toys and treats.
* Use this as an opportunity to teach children good money sense — using coupons, never paying full price, researching before you buy, the importance of saving money, and why you should be careful about using credit cards.
* Be creative.
Instead of looking at what you can no longer afford to do, readjust your thinking to find new ways to do things as a family and strengthen family relationships, Mize said.
* Be a good role model.
Remember, the kids are watching how you handle the situation. If they see you acting with confidence and grace, they will learn that they, too, can handle life’s challenges.
* Ask for help if you need it.
If you are struggling with depression, anxiety or anger, get help from someone other than your child.
“A parent’s depression has much more of an effect on a child than a traumatic event,” Mize said. “... If parents are fighting verbally or physically, it is more damaging to a child than actual violence to the child.”
* Tell children the family will be OK.
Assure kids that the situation, while difficult, is temporary and is not a major disaster.
“Let them know, we’ve got each other, and that really is what is important,” Mize said.
“Kids are amazing at being able to read the adults in their lives — particularly adults on whom they depend,” said Nancy Mize, outpatient service director at Lincoln’s Child Guidance Center.
But do be careful about what you say. Children, especially younger ones, tend to magnify what they hear.
If you say, “We can’t afford to eat that,” they may hear, “We can’t afford to eat.”
* Kids need — and deserve — honest, straightforward talk. And it helps to frame things in a positive light, Mize said.
Rather than say we can no longer afford to go out to dinner and the movies, tell them that the family is working together to save money, so you’re looking for other ways to have fun, like going on picnics, renting movies and walking to places you want to visit.
* Involve the whole family.
“It is important to have a plan in place where each child has the capacity to help,” Mize said.
Younger kids can help with chores. Older kids can cut back on their allowance or use some of their lawn-mowing/baby-sitting income to help the family.
* Hold family meetings.
Talk about priorities for spending money. Let kids know family-spending habits are changing. Explain what that may mean for them — a smaller birthday wish-list, fewer meals out and special activities like trips, movies, toys and treats.
* Use this as an opportunity to teach children good money sense — using coupons, never paying full price, researching before you buy, the importance of saving money, and why you should be careful about using credit cards.
* Be creative.
Instead of looking at what you can no longer afford to do, readjust your thinking to find new ways to do things as a family and strengthen family relationships, Mize said.
* Be a good role model.
Remember, the kids are watching how you handle the situation. If they see you acting with confidence and grace, they will learn that they, too, can handle life’s challenges.
* Ask for help if you need it.
If you are struggling with depression, anxiety or anger, get help from someone other than your child.
“A parent’s depression has much more of an effect on a child than a traumatic event,” Mize said. “... If parents are fighting verbally or physically, it is more damaging to a child than actual violence to the child.”
* Tell children the family will be OK.
Assure kids that the situation, while difficult, is temporary and is not a major disaster.
“Let them know, we’ve got each other, and that really is what is important,” Mize said.
Copyright © 2002-2009 Lincoln Journal Star. All rights reserved.