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Casady: Mom reconsiders leaving daughter at 'safe haven'

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BY HILARY KINDSCHUH / Lincoln Journal Star

Tuesday, Oct 07, 2008 - 08:30:30 pm CDT

Less than 24 hours after one caregiver dropped off a child at a Lincoln hospital under the state’s safe haven law, another parent intending to use the law changed her mind.

A 34-year-old woman brought her 15-year-old daughter to BryanLGH Medical Center west at 11:18 a.m. Monday, intending to drop the teenager off at the hospital under Nebraska’s safe haven law, said Lincoln Police Chief Tom Casady.

However, after discussing the situation with a police officer, an alternate plan was negotiated, and the girl was admitted to the hospital’s child/adolescent psychiatric unit, Casady said.

Story Photo
Police Chief Tom Casady

On Sunday, a 51-year-old woman left her 12-year-old grandson at the same hospital. Another boy, the same age, was left at Immanuel Hospital in Omaha, also on Sunday.

The mother who changed her mind on Monday was relieved to resolve the situation without using the safe haven law, Casady said.

In talking with police, the mother admitted the safe haven law was flawed but said she had tried everything to get help for her daughter, whom she described as out of control, defiant and a chronic runaway, Casady said.

The mother also said she feared for the safety of her 12-year-old son, Casady said.

The woman had filled out some paperwork for the county attorney to try to make the girl a ward of the state, but she had not submitted it, Casady said.

The process takes some time, and the woman thought she might get more timely help for her daughter if the teenager became a ward of the state under the safe haven law, Casady said.

In cases when a child is out of control, it’s common for parents or guardians to worry for their safety or the safety of other children, Casady said.

“We work cases like this on a real regular basis,” Casady said. “It was pretty apparent to police officers when the safe haven law passed that it might become a last resort outcome for people we deal with.”

This is the second recent example of Lincoln police diverting a parent from using the safe haven law.

On Sept. 26, a 37-year-old woman was considering abandoning her 16-year-old daughter under the safe haven law, said Officer Katie Flood.

After talking with the mother, officers took the teenager to BryanLGH Medical Center West, where she was placed in temporary protective custody and turned over to Health and Human Services, Flood said.

Casady said the primary disadvantage of the safe haven law was “the sense of abandonment a child might have.”

“I think you should exhaust other avenues before taking what I consider to be a desperate step.”

Reach Hilary Kindschuh at 473-7120 or hkindschuh@journalstar.com.


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been there wrote on October 7, 2008 11:22 am:
" Some times there is no help even after looking and searching and pleading and praying. A last minute helpfull hand and a family member who lived far away helped and with counceling and many years inbetween, all is well. Some aren't so lucky to have that happen. What will we do for them???? Safe Haven at least got some help for these folks, even if it was a cop talking them out of it.... they got help! "

Eric wrote on October 7, 2008 11:31 am:
" I agree with Casady about the "primary disadvantage of the safe haven law" ... but again, DO NOT CHANGE THE LAW. These children are indeed in immediate danger - either from themselves or in danger of abuse/neglect by the guardian whom is dropping them off. I don't care what age the child is - if they are a minor and "at risk" due to the fact their primary caregiver either cannot or will not provide care for them - they need a safe place to go. To not allow these children a safe haven is bordering a crime in and of itself. Think of the children. "

Perhaps a better alternative wrote on October 7, 2008 11:41 am:
" Has anyone else done the math on how old many of these mothers of troubled teens were when they gave birth to these children? The mothers in this story would have been 19 and 21 respectively. Perhaps a better investment on the part of the State would be parenting classes for young parents to help them learn how to discipline, reward, negotiate with, and create a positive environment for children during the toddler years. This would arm the parents with knowledge for early intervention of problem behaviors before their children become out of control teenagers. "

bloozman wrote on October 7, 2008 11:53 am:
" This law is flawed! This was originally intended to save unwanted babies who were being left in dumpsters, not to shelter thugs and unappreciative teenagers! In those cases, we should have a shelter for the adults that are trying to help these kids. "

wow wrote on October 7, 2008 11:59 am:
" Parenting has always been a tough job and it will continue to be that way. Most kids don't wake up one morning after being perfect for 12 or 15 years and decide to be rebellious or dangerous. My own child started displaying behavior between the ages of 4 and 5, as well as did some of my own siblings. My son's daycare at that time informed me LPS would do a free evaluation and he would receive services through the school system. He currently receives daily visits from a behavior teacher and she has even teamed up with a therapist from Omaha that we could utilize. There are outlets and it's important to get help early. Start with a school counselor or psychologist, they can lead you to even more possibilities. OSome employers have an EAP (employee assistance program) that you can take advantage of for some free initial counseling. It's tragic that this is happening, but these children are our future and we need to do all that we can to let them know they are important and cared about! "

JA wrote on October 7, 2008 12:02 pm:
" This law may be a blessing in disguise. We are seeing just how many parents are at their wits end with their kids. They need help and maybe they wouldn't get it unless this law came about. I agree it's not the best way to bring these issues in our community front and center, and I would like to help. How can we find these parents? How can we get them to come forward? How can we (I) help mentor their sons, or for you ladies out there, their daughters? "

Cheri wrote on October 7, 2008 12:10 pm:
" I agree we need this law and to not change it. It is bringing forth children/parents who need help. Yes, it was intended for infants, but better to get treatment for the parents and children and have most of them benefit from it for the rest of their lives, than have runaways and/or abuse.

I would think most parents have thought long and hard before they give up their children. Why it's being left up to a policeman to handle the situation I don't know, I would think the hospital could have counselors talk to them. "

question wrote on October 7, 2008 12:19 pm:
" I think parents should have somewhere to turn if they can no longer control their child but all of these parents say the child is so out of control and they fear for their safety but it is a little odd that these out of control kids are willing going into the hospital to get dropped off. The parent that ended up not dropping the girl off under safe haven law said she was a chronic run away but she got in the car and let her mom take her to the hospital. It just doesn't add up that all these kids are so defiant and just walk right in with their parent. I would imagine a defiant kid getting real defiant if they were going to be abandoned. "

Ted wrote on October 7, 2008 1:15 pm:
" When you have children you have moral obligations and responsibilities. This law needs to be changed. If your child has problems seek help, but don't give them away! For Gods Sake, do you even know what kind of scares emotionally you are leaving on these children.....do you even care? Perhaps the parents need some help in this area. Get counseling, do something..have family members or friends help, but don't give your kids away. "

Ex - Frustrated Mom wrote on October 7, 2008 1:25 pm:
" I can sympathise with this woman as I was in the same boat. There is no help out there for the average joe who doesn't have thousands sitting around to get help with their kid. The kid has to break the law...my daughter finally told her father she was going to kill him (in a more graffic manner) she was arrested for terroristic threats. She was made a Ward of the State and sat for months, locked up, then when there was a bed in Omaha at NOVA. She spent 6 mo there - many trips to Omaha - family counceling....Now she's 18 and I couldn't ask for a better daughter. As a parents what I learned - tough love! She begged please mom tell them I can come home... I told Judge Thorson I can sleep at night knowing my daughter isn't running the streets...Thank you Judge Thorson. Had to sell my house so I could afford to go to Omaha 3 times a week, Gas, Miles on my car, time off work WORTH IT!!! Stay strong, pray, don't give up on your kids. "

Eric wrote on October 7, 2008 1:32 pm:
" When will you people realize that the state doesnt give a hoot about parents. We are here for the sole purpose of providing for our kids. Unless it benefits our kids we dont count. That needs to change. "

Two Sides of Every Story wrote on October 7, 2008 1:47 pm:
" All we here about is another parent drops off child under safe haven law. How do you know it is not the in the best interest of the child no matter what the age. Has anyone talked witht he parent as to why, or the child. All we here is it was intended for infants. Great but there are other children who are older who would be far better off if they were dropped off at the local hospital. People need to look at both sides before we just change the law. "

OR wrote on October 7, 2008 1:57 pm:
" How about better education and access to birth control? "

CTB wrote on October 7, 2008 3:12 pm:
" Anyone who thinks this law is a blessing in disguise is a gall darn fool! i am sorry but children belong with there parents, unless they are with they are at school or a supervised park or something of that nature....i dont think parents who leave their children at hospitals should have there children taken away or anything like that, i'm not a nut, but perhapes a trail spereation of some sort, to teach them a lesson... "

to CTB wrote on October 7, 2008 3:51 pm:
" I don't think the person who said that the law is a blessing in disguise meant that it is good for parents to lose their kids. What they meant is that the law is bringing to light how many families are struggling and need help. I apologize for saying this, but unfortunately not all kids belong with their parents. Some need psychiatric help, others need a stable, safe environment. Some parents need to learn how to parent. Its a vicious cycle that needs to be dealt with. To put our heads in the sand and wish it all to go away will make it worse. "

b dog wrote on October 7, 2008 4:47 pm:
" Are any of you that think this law should not be changed Foster Parents? yea that's what I thought. If you don't want to take care of kids as a foster parent then don't say the state should take care of them. Get involved if your so inclined to think this law is good. "

Reminder wrote on October 7, 2008 6:55 pm:
" These kids are also in schools. Your tax dollars. Where ever you choose to look, tax dollars are spent. Because...
You fill in the blanks. "

Fred wrote on October 7, 2008 7:16 pm:
" When you are pregnant you have moral obligations and responsibilities. This law needs to be eliminated. If your will have problems raising your fetus seek help, but don't give them away! "

am a foster parent wrote on October 7, 2008 8:18 pm:
" I am a foster parent and yes there needs to be more, but I do not think the law should change. These families need help they are calling for it by dropping their children off. We dont need to have a shooting like in LA, where the dad kills 3 children, his wife, mother-in-law and himself because he is distraut. Get help before murdering. This safe haven law is hopefully going to prevent that. "

been there wrote on October 8, 2008 6:16 am:
" If the child is admitted the mother can expect to be charged for the hospital and the child will get little or no treatment before returning home.

I think parents need REAL help. "

Alex wrote on October 9, 2008 8:11 pm:
" The safe haven law is strange at best, but i believe it is for the best. Not only are children who are born to violent, less fortunate, or just plain bad homes now given a chance not to grow up to be self destructive or outwardly destructive people, but babies who would have been aborted or children whose families have gone to the poorhouse now have a better chance to lead good lives. This law may not have been created to facilitate minors upwards to 18 years old, but it does seem to have a previously hidden bright side, but for every good there is an evil. Some parents may just be fed up with a child and drop them off at the nearest hospital. I've even heard of a man who threatens his children into obedience by flaunting this law around the house. He's even gone so far as to drive them to the hospital and open the door on them. I think they should put in place several committees to evaluate the situation of the parent/guardian who wishes to leave their child as a ward of the state. "