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Boy, 12, is latest safe-haven dropoff

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By the Lincoln Journal Star

Monday, Oct 06, 2008 - 06:20:12 pm CDT

Caretakers dropped off two 12-year-old boys at hospitals in Lincoln and Omaha Sunday, using the state’s safe haven law yet again.

And on Monday, a 34-year-old mother brought her 15-year-old daughter to a Lincoln hospital intending to drop her off using the safe haven law. But the mother changed her mind, said Lincoln Police Capt. David Beggs.

No other information was available on that case.

Story Photo
This file photo from Aug. 22 shows a sign proclaiming a Nebraska hospital a safe haven. A Nebraska law allows anyone, not just a parent, to abandon a child at any state-licensed hospital. The law doesn't further define child, and some have interpreted that to mean anyone in Nebraska under the age of 19. (AP File)
Help available

Information about local resources is available by calling 211 or at www.dhhs.ne.gov/Children_Family_Services/SafeHaven

On Sunday, a 12-year-old boy was left at BryanLGH Medical Center West by his 51-year-old grandmother — Lincoln’s second safe haven case since the law went into effect in July.

Another boy, the same age, was taken to Immanuel Hospital in Omaha.

In the Lincoln case, the grandmother had been appointed guardian of the boy less than a week before.

The boy, who arrived at the hospital at 10:50 p.m. told a nurse he had attempted to “help his grandmother clean up,” and she had become upset and took him to the hospital.

The boy’s father apparently lives in Lincoln and his mother in Saline County.

Parents, relatives or guardians have used the state’s new safe haven law eight times since it went into effect in July. A total of 16 children have been abandoned.

The Department of Health and Human Services is assessing the latest cases, said Todd Landry, director of the division of children and family services.

Lincoln Police Chief Tom Casady said Monday there have always been parents and caregivers who have struggled to care for troubled children.

 “Now it’s relatively easy to take advantage of this tool legislators gave citizens,” he said. “I’m rather surprised legislators didn’t see this coming because I can assure you Lincoln police saw this coming.”

The safe haven law prohibits prosecution when a child is left at a licensed Nebraska hospital.

While they cannot be charged for abandoning a child, parents and guardians using Nebraska safe haven law can be charged for other offenses.

Courts are also likely to require parents and guardians to participate in parenting classes, family therapy, conflict resolution or other services in an effort to reunite youth with their families.

Child support payments may be ordered while children are in state custody.

The law was intended for infants when enacted, but legislators had compromised on not putting a specific age on the bill in order to pass it. Some senators have said they may make adjustments to the bill in January.

Gov. Dave Heineman said Monday he has no plans to call a special session to change the safe haven law, but he wouldn’t rule out the possibility.

“I hope we don’t have to do that, but as governor you never  take any issue off the table,” he said.

HHS director Landry encouraged parents who are having difficulty with their kids to reach out for help from family, faith-based organizations and other community services when they need support, before taking such a drastic step as abandonment.

Journal Star reporters Hilary Kindschuh, JoAnne Young and Cory Matteson contributed to this story.

 


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concerned wrote on October 6, 2008 10:26 am:
" Now that we have troubled kids (read that as kids with uncontrollable behavior issues) being dropped off all over the state (especially in Lincoln and Omaha), I wonder how the lawmakers that wrote this ridiculous law plan to pay to care for these kids now. The foster system isn't in good enough shape to take on these kids and there already aren't enough resources in the community for parents that are keeping their kids. What a sad state of affairs! I worry that it will only get worse before it gets better. "

 Think wrote on October 6, 2008 10:52 am:
" we as a society cut back on all social services, allow insurance rates and fees to go unchecked in the name of free market, make villains of parents who have problems with their children or ask for help. then put them on lists that limit their enjoyability and do not acknowledge that children have free will. What do we think is going to happen? "

 BicycleMike wrote on October 6, 2008 11:18 am:
" I'll be the first one to say that I honestly didn't see this coming myself. It looks as though this is becoming an issue. "

 Lincolnite wrote on October 6, 2008 11:21 am:
" Don't change the law. These families need help; if this is the only way they know to reach out for help then DON'T punish them!! I'm not saying to give them a free "out" -- but at least maintain the opportunity they have to ask for help. Many people are afraid to go through the trouble of contacting HHS (not exactly a good reputation!) for fear of getting in trouble for not taking care of their children. These people need a method by which they can ask for help without the fear of going to jail for the sake of asking for help.

Please leave the law alone. "

 Its Okay wrote on October 6, 2008 11:31 am:
" Everyone seems to think this law needs to be reversed asap so this quits happening....but they are being left there b/c their guardian is saying they can't care for the child(ren). What kind of conditions are these children living in and how are they being treated? I would never ever be able to take my daughter and leave her at the hospital. Could you imagine what is going on behind the doors of these homes? These children aren't being taken care of where they are at so let them utilize this law so the children get the care that they need. "

 Parents and guardians wrote on October 6, 2008 11:45 am:
" Absolve yourself from your responsibilities! Let the taxpayers take care of your brats, that's become our job now! "

 clint wrote on October 6, 2008 11:58 am:
" Once again the legislature is going to have something come back and bite them in the butt./ Big surprise there. "

 Jane wrote on October 6, 2008 12:04 pm:
" Shouldn't part of LB157 also protect these families from public humiliation? Why do we need to hear about every instance this law being exemplified in the newspaper? Protect the people and let the law help them not humiliate them! "

 Tara wrote on October 6, 2008 12:09 pm:
" This situation shows the cycical nature of these kinds of struggles. This woman became a grandmother at least by age 39, which means at BEST the women in this family are becoming mothers at 19 and 20. Parenting challenges that are not addressed continue for generations. Hopefully DHHS can find this boy a home where his behavior will be straightened out and he can delay becoming a parent until he is prepared to meet its challenges. "

 Carol wrote on October 6, 2008 12:12 pm:
" We have heard a lot about young (relatively) grandparents and other relatives dropping off teens. I wonder how many of these children were teen pregnancies? My guess would be that unprepared teen girls are becoming mothers, inadequately parenting their children until they reach a difficult age, dropping them off with their mothers (who are now finally of an age that can maturely raise children), but the kids are so out of control that it is too late and the relatives can't handle them either. Solve your teen pregnancy problems and I bet the safe haven problem goes away too. "

 I agree with Jane wrote on October 6, 2008 12:16 pm:
" Does every child dropped off need to be made public?? These families obviously need help either financial or therapeutic. HELP these families become families again....not persecute them for what they do. Putting this in the paper and on TV is only hurting the family!! "

 Linda wrote on October 6, 2008 12:23 pm:
" What do you say to your child as you are dropping them off? Sorry Mommy and Daddy can't handle you so we no longer want you? What is this doing to these children emotionally? Don't we have enough messed up children in this world? This law should be changed to reflect the other states...Change the law to protect INFANTS who would otherwise be in grave danger...not give parents an easy way out because can't handle the responsibility of parenting. If a parent wants to give up an older child, they should have to go through counseling and parenting classes PRIOR to giving their child over to the state. "

 Mary wrote on October 6, 2008 12:29 pm:
" What about the people that fall in the middle? They aren't poor enough to qualify for any kind of aid. They aren't rich enough to get therapy for their kids. "

 disagree Jane wrote on October 6, 2008 12:31 pm:
" Jane I disagree, what we need now is more shame. We have a society of "do not judge me, you do not understand my situation" and not enough personal acountabiltiy. I think we need to publish the names and pictures of those abandoning their preteens and teens that way friends, family and employees can know what kind of person they are associating with. "

 sheila wrote on October 6, 2008 12:35 pm:
" How about taking responsibility for your own children for a change? You found the time to make them, find the time to take care of them. I was in the foster care system 25 some years ago here and this is not the way to handle YOUR responsibility. If you have any doubts about your future ability to care for these lives, please take the time to use protection or better yet, abstain altogether. Welfare is not the way for any child to be brought up and this is nothing more than another version of welfare. "

 A REAL PARENT wrote on October 6, 2008 1:02 pm:
" There is no way in "beep!" that I would let any of you people take care of my special needs child! You would all be completely clueless and that includes some of you so called "professionals" out there, and I use the term very lightly!
If you keep promoting unrealistic laws, you will reap the benefits there of.
No worries here, I plan on protecting my kid, thank you very much! "

 cm wrote on October 6, 2008 1:14 pm:
" Legislature - how many examples do you need??? You fouled it up! YOU NEED TO FIX THIS! "

 Fred wrote on October 6, 2008 1:28 pm:
" Jane, I agree with you. If you get help from the government with anything, they have always humiliated people. Look at food stamps, you have no privacy. You have to give names and phone numbers. Yes, lets humiliate everyone. This country was founded on the right to privacy........I feel everyones constitutional rights are violated! The way the economy is going, soon everyone will need help. "

 Governors leadership wrote on October 6, 2008 1:54 pm:
" Where is our governor and why won't he call a special session and fix this. Is he to busy raising money for Johanns who gave him the job when he quit? Get of the campaign trail and do your job! We need to get this fixed we are not asking much just for you to DO YOUR JOB Governor! "

 seriously. wrote on October 6, 2008 1:56 pm:
" i would much rather have a family that is overwhelmed and unable to care for their child drop them off at a safe place. people that feel that they have no options become desperate, and i have read waaaaay too many stories about children that suffered due to their parents not feeling that they have anywhere to turn. i am 100% fine with my tax dollars going to keep these children safe. children deserve the right to a stable environment no matter their age, and i am completely okay with parents acknowledging that their environment is not the place to be. it is much, much better than the alternative for these children. "

 stop judging wrote on October 6, 2008 2:03 pm:
" They're not "brats" - they're children. I'm sure many of them are use to being called such names and have done a good job of living up to this label. I hope the recent influx of amandoned children under this bill will shine a light on an area of need. Changing this law will eliminate people from dropping off older children; however, it will not change the fact that there's a deeper problem here that needs to be addressed. Ignorance is bliss though, right? "

 me wrote on October 6, 2008 2:12 pm:
" with as quick as they are working on making changes to the law, we will see this to become an everyday occurance and the issue will no longer be making headlines and then we will have an entire generation of disposed of children "

 concerned wrote on October 6, 2008 2:22 pm:
" I get that we have to pick up the tab on these kids, I get that the foster care system is full and doesn't have room, but if parents don't want their children and they are emotionally able to just drop them off with strangers then maybe they aren't fit to be that child's parent. Maybe that parent would be more prone to abuse that child if they don't want them or neglect them. "

 Harry the antenna guy wrote on October 6, 2008 3:26 pm:
" Some are advocating for the law to remain because the troubled children are difficult to raise. Teach your children that you are in charge and you will have less of a problem. Asking them how they want to be raised in asking for trouble. Letting them do what pleases themselves is asking for greater trouble. People who have children have a responsibility to raise them properly. You fail to do it properly and you get to suffer the consequences. "

 So Sad wrote on October 6, 2008 4:08 pm:
" This is just sad. Think of the kids, what do you say to a kid while you are dropping them off. So sad. I think this is the best thing for these kids, otherwise, they will be even more troubled down the road. Hopefully some good people will come forward and take care of these kids. I'm also sure the people dropping these kids off are at the last resort and must feel horrible too. Its just sad. Good luck kids! "

 wow wrote on October 6, 2008 4:17 pm:
" state senators were warned of this affect of teenagers being dropped off. They did such a great job knowing the best interest of children again. Senators keep makeing laws for the best interest of children; you have not made a law yet that was in the best interest of children. "

 Birth Contral wrote on October 6, 2008 4:52 pm:
" Maybe they should make birth control cheaper so people can afford it. I went to get mine the other day and it was 50 bucks. Some people cant afford that which leads to kids that aren't being taken care of properly. "

 help might be needed wrote on October 6, 2008 5:00 pm:
" Just because they aren't a baby, they shouldn't be able to receive help? This does not mean that they are "brats", but might have issues that need some help. Had friends who had raised 3 older children, but with the youngest, they asked for help (had to lock their bedroom doors, etc...) but the state said "tough do-do", your kid you deal with it. He ended up behind bars for life. Had someone stepped in and helped when they asked, things might have ended up differently. Please keep the law, so not only the kids, but the parents can get the help they need. "

 Unreal wrote on October 6, 2008 5:32 pm:
" How does anyone know the parents/custodians aren't faking it to just get
rid of these kids so they won't have to bother or spend their money taking
care of them. This is unacceptable. If they are having problems they
should ask for help, not dump them off. Dumping them off shows right there they are not FIT parents from day one!! They are the same as telling
the kids, "I hate you." And, the legislature, every one of them needs to
have a DUNCE hat they have to wear ALL THE TIME. Unbelieveable how they
could be soooooo stupid to pass a law like this. Goes to show you they
ALLL are just putting in their time and probably wake up only when its
time to vote on a bill!!!! And their suppose to have a college education?? "

 wonder wrote on October 6, 2008 5:45 pm:
" i wonder how many of these out of control kids would be if they would of just got a kick in the butt in my day it worked wonders "

 2 bc wrote on October 6, 2008 5:51 pm:
" lets see you cant afford 50 bucks for bc so have a kid smart economics huh? how a bout the other option do not engage in the activity. tpt "

 Sue wrote on October 6, 2008 6:40 pm:
" What about how these kids feel, i mean i understand if it was a baby because they don't know anything that young, but any kid older than an infant? Can you even imagine what is going through those kids minds? I mean the 12 y/o said he was helping his grandma clean up and now he's at the safe haven doesn't anyone have any remorse or feelings I mean the parents should be in trouble for just leaving them like that,i agree with those that say end it..i mean come on 12 years later and now you want to get rid of them because of this bill talk about giving up:( "

 Connie wrote on October 6, 2008 7:18 pm:
" People wouldnt use this option unless they were desperate! There is not enough help for parents with bahavior problem children or for that matter children with mental problems. It can take years for a parent to get the help they need from the state. I know a few parents at there wits end on what to do and they have gone to the state for help. Sadly they didnt get any. So they get desperate and drop the kids off. Its not the parents fault or the kids fault its societys fault for not being there to help when it is needed. The State closed almost all of the mental health facilities, the few open are over croweded and a person can be on the waiting list for months before getting in. Many of you are all to willing to offer your judgement on these people but you have not lived in there shoes. So maybe you should keep your comments to yourself until you have been there! "

 Idonotwonder wrote on October 6, 2008 7:18 pm:
" I disagree with WONDER. I had my butt kicked, told I was stupid, and my folks never told me they loved me. It did nothing but make problems for me, even now in my fifties. Children need love and understanding. "

 OMG wrote on October 6, 2008 8:00 pm:
" kick their butt, shirk your duty? Do any of you have kids and if so do you deal with them on a daily basis? I have raised 1 teenage boy and have another and it isn't easy, but I have been fortunate enough to (at this point) deal with their situations. Unfortunately, I know parents who have been beat, cars stolen, had to lock their bedroom doors to prevent things from "disappearing" and they begged for help, but were told, "tough 'crap'" -- you gave birth to them, you deal with them. They loved them and tried everything they know, and all they wanted was some help, but golly, nobody there. I understand and think at least they will be able to get some help. You want to pass judgement, take that child and live with them for a month, then pass judgement. We have too many influences from tv and movies and games that teach violence and disrespect. Maybe we need to "clean up" ignorance in society and what is being played on tv (commercials are the worst in my opinion). Did you know that if you put parental controls on your tv, most generally you can't get commercials or news on network? Just don't judge until you have walked the walk "

 help is needed wrote on October 6, 2008 8:07 pm:
" Nebraska - Wake up - there is a problem!! As I wouldn't leave my child at a hospital, some parents feel they have no other option. I know some parents who have contacted HHS and the police asking (begging) for help to no avail. The response is, "Sorry ma'am but we can't help you." Where do parents turn then? This law or wording is in effect because of one legislator who is no longer in office. As I understand, if a special session is called, this legislator will again be called back to discuss this bill. The governor doesn't want this. Maybe we, as a state, need to wake up and realize something needs to be done. We are not in the shoes as some of these parents and don't understand what is going on in their lives, so please don't be the first to cast the stone. Live a day in their shoes. There may be no other option - or what option there is may not be a tomorrow for some of our children - at least they are in a warm place, with food and safety and someone to look over them. Those of you who are condemning these parents - let's look at your faults. "

 sheesh wrote on October 6, 2008 8:26 pm:
" This issue could be solved if there were support services offered for troubled children and their families! "

 Dawn wrote on October 6, 2008 8:27 pm:
" people there really is n right or wrong to this. yes it is too bad that some peple take advantage of a good thing and just drop their kids off the way some people do with unwanted pets (wich isnt right either) but also there is people ho feel it is better for the child to be removed rather than abused. it is too bad there just isnt more resources for people to use to get help even if they cant afford it. so they wouldnt have to do something so drastic. I know kids can try your patience but nobody ever said it would be easy to raise them. I tghank god everyday for mine. even on the days they drive me crazy. sure would be nice if everybody could show their kids the love they deserve. "

 unfair to these children wrote on October 6, 2008 9:43 pm:
" This is absolutely outrageous. Perfect evidence that no law is better than a bad law.

Almost as crazy is the fact that people think that it's good for us to allow parents to abandon their children? If parents want to abandon their children, they don't need a law to tell them to do that. Parents are responsible for their children. This is BAD BAD BAD legislation, and it needs prompt attention.

Our country, by the way, was founded on the idea of no taxation without representation, not a "right to privacy" which is not in the Constitution even today. "

 Concerned wrote on October 6, 2008 9:44 pm:
" Instead of criticizing the parents/grandparents/guardians who are dropping these children off at hospitals, I think we should commend them for doing what is best for the children! At least they are not abusing them. They realize they cannot cope so they are doing what is in the children's best interest. As far as this costing the taxpayers, it is no worse than all the welfare money that is handed out to unwed mothers who continue to have children and have their useless boyfriends living with them and eating food that should be going to the children. I say these people are the ones who should be punished and those children are the ones being abused. I think the people dropping off the children to a safe haven are showing a lot of responsibility and caring. "

 hurts my heart wrote on October 6, 2008 11:06 pm:
" Who is saying that all of these kids have behavior problems or mental disabilities? Maybe they just plain can't afford them, never really was a kid oriented person and they made a mistake, stuck it out for several years even though they were barely surviving or dealing with it. I honestly think if a parent doesn't want them then let someone else love them! Why leave a child in a place they are not wanted, it will only lead to them being mistreated or ignored. You can't just tell a parent to buck up! So many parents that are down and out and could have their own depression or other disabilities that makes it so hard for them to get through the day. Stop thinking about your wallets and think about mankind, our society is so selfish at least we have the option to help these children that are brought to "us" they are not hiding behind closed doors. "

 Does Lincoln not know poverty wrote on October 6, 2008 11:10 pm:
" Reading these comments makes me sick!!! How can you as readers of one or even a dozen articles pretend to know the situations that these families are in. You assume that they are children with behavior concerns, or need "a kick in the butt". We've got to start researching poverty and understanding that our society is hurting. We can sit back and give it any label we want but that doesn't fix the problem. I agree with those of you who suggested we quit publishing stories that might humiliate the people who are dropping these children off, and hope that instead of judging these people we can turn our attention as a community towards finding more powerful ways to help families in need. Not out of obligation but out of empathy. "

 Ruined for life wrote on October 6, 2008 11:14 pm:
" It is any wonder children have no self-esteem or personal values? This law was meant to keep babies alive and out of trash cans, not allow poor parents to devastate their child's own worth. There are bad parents everywhere and I'm sure that will continue on. If you can't take care of a child, or don't want to, do what normal people do and either stop having them or give them up for adoption. Don't break a child's spirit just because you are incapable of loving them. "

 stevebob wrote on October 7, 2008 2:01 am:
" Why not ask the state to intervene by way of filing an ungovernable child request? It worked for me and I am still in my childs life like I should. "

 People Dang It wrote on October 7, 2008 5:11 am:
" Sometimes the kids are OKAY. It's the adults that don't want to be parents anymore. They are not all troubled youth but troubled adults. "

 Okay with law wrote on October 7, 2008 7:54 am:
" The safe haven law should have gone into effect a long time ago. Its not about the adults in this situation it is about the children. People over the age of 18 have had their childhood and i'm sure those with bad ones would have given anything to have this law for a better life. "

 so you may think wrote on October 7, 2008 9:03 am:
" If we did not have this safe haven we may have a situation that happened in California where the dad kills the wife, 3 children, mother-in-law and himself because he was out of a job and did not know where to turn.....We need to help these distraut people. I know it takes tax dollars but these murders are not pleasant either. What a disturbing feeling for that family and relatives. If people would turn to their family for help and assistance but people are soooo busy in today's world that we are not there to help. It does not have to be financial it could just be that shoulder to lean on and say "I can help". Pray for that California family. "

 safehavengood wrote on October 7, 2008 9:26 am:
" I'd rather see them dropped off then killed like the family in LA. "

 KRK wrote on October 7, 2008 9:48 am:
" How do you think all of these pre-adolescent kids GET these 'behavior problems' you all are bemoaning? Is there something in the air or the water that all of the sudden we just have hundreds and thousands of 'bad kids' that nobody can control? If you honestly believe this (and a small percentage of kids do have organic behavior issues, but this can be diagnosed fairly easily). I've hard so many (bad) parents at the grocery store telling their kids how awful they are, and how abnormal and bad they are in this tone that just makes ME shrink and feel bad. When you start telling your kid in an adult tone that there's 'something wrong with them' (and what I'm observing is fairly normal kid behavior) what do you think that does to them? I'm a huge believer that there are a lot of crap 'parents' out there who have completely unrealistic expectations about babies and children and I seriously question their reason for giving birth (but I think it involves 'landing a really great guy'). If people don't see these things happening around them, I'm baffled. I know that if I behaved the way a lot of these kids I see at 12 do, I would have been punished and repunished--oh, and that's another weak argument. You can punish your kid without physically beating them. That's a big copout excuse, and hopefully most people know better. I'm sick by what's happening with this 'safe haven' thing. That people keep defending this and making excuses for bad parenting SICKENS me. Our throw-away society sickens me. Where on god's green earth do so many people get the feeling that dumping your kid off--a kid who is old enough to GET what's happening--is okay?????? "

 for the bill wrote on October 7, 2008 10:07 am:
" i'm with 'it's okay'---let the kids continue to be of all ages. There is obviouls a problem if the parents are bringing the kids to be dropped off--it is a cry for help and could be saving the child from abuse to be dropped off! These are innocent kids that need a chance whether it is eventually getting back with family or not--give the kids a chance! For those of you that are worried about the tax dollars--you need to put your worries other places, such as wasted city costs and bringing in a thousand plus foreignors-you ain't seen nothing it! "

 Maybe if kids..... wrote on October 7, 2008 10:08 am:
" stopped having kids this wouldn't be a problem. There are too many kids out there who get pregnant and can't deal with it. "

 Connie wrote on October 7, 2008 11:58 am:
" Nebraska - Wake up - there is a problem!! some parents feel they have no other option.

I was not given options for help or information resources. I was not told about services available. The few things I found out were by a chance meeting or someone else’s experience, not by someone in the system volunteering information. As a mother who has been there I would like to speak with other mothers. Maybe we can find a way to get these children help. Email me at Sissy_1963@hotmail.com "

 Know the frustration wrote on October 7, 2008 1:18 pm:
" As a parent who adopted a sibling group over six years ago, we have had difficulties, no fault of their own, you get them "wired" this was, but on occasion we have needed assist, DHHS tells you they are yours now, we cant help you now, if they run or do something destructive call law enforcement that will put them back in the "system" and do not for get to call you worker that was assigned to follow adoption! Surprise, after 6yrs that was news to us, let alone never seen one. So do not beat up the Senators who passed this law, they have touched a nerve, the system is broke, for the poor kids and the parents who do care! Privatize YES!! "

 Dont change it wrote on October 7, 2008 2:18 pm:
" We need this law it just doen't need to be public. "

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