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Help with troubled kids not always easy to get

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By JoANNE YOUNG / Lincoln Journal Star

Tuesday, Sep 16, 2008 - 08:44:46 pm CDT

If you’re at the end of your rope with your child’s behavioral problems, you have alternatives to the safe haven solution.

That’s what state officials and private agency heads said over and over after two youths — a 15-year-old in Lincoln, an 11-year-old in Omaha — were abandoned over the weekend.

State officials say there are alternatives — from nonprofit human services to help from public schools to state agencies, many of them low cost or no cost.

Story Photo
This photo from Aug. 22 shows a sign proclaiming the Alegent Health Immanuel Medical Center in Omaha a safe haven place. (AP file)

Related Media

The story so far: Safe haven law

Nebraska's safe haven law, which went into effect in July 2008, was broader than most and allowed a parent to leave an infant or child at a hospi...

Finding help
  • Parents and guardians can call 211 and access United Way information and referral services.
  • Cedars has emergency shelters, which can be accessed by calling the 24-Hour Crisis Line, (402) 437-8888, or by going directly to the shelter at 6601 Pioneers Blvd. Cedars also has shelter services in the Broken Bow area.

But others say families can get frustrated by long waiting lists or costs that are out of reach for some low-income and even middle-income families.

Kathy Bigsby Moore, with Voices for Children Nebraska, said the use of the safe haven law for two older children this weekend illustrates Nebraska does not have a solid system of children’s behavioral health services.

The safe haven law, which went into effect in July, was originally designed to protect infants who were in danger of being harmed if left in an unsafe place. It also protects the parent or guardian from being charged with a crime.

But before the bill was passed, it was amended to include all children — even teens.

On Saturday, a Lincoln woman abandoned her 15-year-old nephew at BryanLGH Medical Center West, saying she couldn’t deal with his behavior problems.

In Omaha, a woman dropped off her 11-year-old son at a hospital, saying she could no longer care for him.

These cases — the first two under the law — point to a need for services that are not available, not readily available or are under-publicized, Moore said.

Families who have private health insurance or Medicaid coverage have more options, she said.

Both of the youths dropped off this weekend had Medicaid coverage, state officials said.

But Nebraska spends less on behavioral health services than most states, Moore said.  

And it is among the lowest six states for eligibility for Kids Connection,  health care coverage for qualified children that includes both the Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP) and Medicaid.

In most states, families who earn up to 250 percent of the poverty level  are eligible, she said. In Nebraska and a few other states, only those at 185 percent or lower qualify.

Some states, she said, have even added general fund dollars to cover more children.

A few programs, such as Cedars, have emergency shelters, which can be accessed by calling the 24-Hour Crisis Line (402) 437-8888 or by going directly to the shelter at 6601 Pioneers Blvd. Cedars also has emergency shelter services in the Broken Bow area.

Public schools have social workers, counselors and psychologists who can guide parents to services in the community, said Marilyn Moore, Lincoln Public Schools associate superintendent for instruction.

At the same time, she acknowledged that mental health services for young people are frequently hard to come by because there are not enough providers.

The cost — and the wait — are issues in this community, she said.

“I wish it were otherwise,” Moore said.  

For parents to be so far at the end of their rope they would release a child from their life is a dramatic and drastic step, she said.  

Todd Landry, director of the children and family services division of the Nebraska Department of Health and Human Services, said a wide variety of services is available to Nebraska families, at different levels of intensity, beginning with the least restrictive care.

The services include parent education and skills building, respite care for families in crisis, counseling, therapy and substance abuse programs, and residential treatment programs, such as Boys Town in Omaha and Grand Island, Epworth Village in York, and Uta Halle Girls Village and Cooper Village for Boys in Omaha.

Parents and guardians can call 211 and access United Way information and referral services, Landry said.

Many agencies will do assessments and evaluations to determine the precise services children need, he said.

Some services are low cost or no cost, or have a sliding fee scale based  on income.

In Lincoln, Family Services offers quarterly basic parenting skill classes. They are eight-week sessions that meet on Monday nights from 6-8 p.m., said June Baumgartner.

The classes cost $120 and grants are available. They are for new parents, young parents and those who are struggling with some aspect of parenting, she said.

Reach JoAnne Young at 473-7228 or jyoung@journalstar.com.


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Now weve done it wrote on September 16, 2008 3:32 pm:
" The road to hell is paved with good intentions. The intent of the Safe Haven bill is obvious; however, because it is worded so vaguely, we've put ourselves in a position to have to live with the situations that came about over the weekend.

I feel at my wit's end oftentimes with my 12 year-old daughter, but never in my wildest dreams would I entertain the idea of abandoning her.

I'm very sorry for the frustration these parents/guardians must have felt when they dropped these children off, but do they really realize what they've done? Do they realize the harm they have caused these kids? A newborn being dropped off doesn't realize it's being dropped off. But a teenager? How does he recover from that, knowing his parent didn't want him anymore? And what if the parent/guardian changes her mind? Is that allowed for in the bill? Even if the dropper-offer is allowed to take the teenager back, the damage has already been done. The child has already been made aware in no uncertain terms that he is no longer wanted. "

Rick wrote on September 16, 2008 3:53 pm:
" For years now the gov. has been taking the rights on how to raise you childern, and now they get what they want the chance to raise all the kids in the country. Give the right of parents back without the goverment or schools sticking their noses in and we might not have the problems we have now. Instead of teaching kids what the parents can't do to them, maybe they should teach the kids what the parents have the power to do. "

Seriously wrote on September 16, 2008 4:10 pm:
" This is fine timing for a story like this to be published! A little after the fact though…
The story says there are numerous services available for families with children in need. They may be present. However, from personal experience they are virtually impossible to access. When my son (5 at the time) was in a crises he was admitted to CAPS for suicidal and homicidal ideation. He was discharged less than 48 hrs later with a counselor’s appointment. We were not 2 blocks from the hospital and my son was telling me about the hallucinations he was having. After countless hours of searching for help I ended at a dead end. We survived each day out of luck. We utilized a couple of resources we found. One was a person who came into our home to try and teach me parenting tips. They left asking me what they should do because they did not have the knowledge necessary to understand our situation. This story sugar coats the actual problems that are present. Furthermore, it only makes parents of children with issues look worse in the eye of the uninformed public! "

April Sharpe wrote on September 16, 2008 5:10 pm:
" Okay from a parent with a child who has mental health issues let me tell you I have been fighting with Magellan (the mental health part of medicaid) for years that my son needs a higher level of care and they keep saying no he does not and sends him home. He has gotten many assualt tickets, had many hospitalizations at CAPS at Bryan West and still they think nothing is wrong with him. So they are saying that parents do not know their own children. I have been dealing with this since he was 2 years old and I want to get him the help he needs before he ends up hurting someone or himself. I am very concerned about his future. And maybe the kids that were dropped off this weeked were not in danger but whose to say the parents/guardians were not the ones in danger. People really need to look at the mental health issue and stop being in denial about it. Then maybe we could get the help our children need. Believe me I don't want my son away from home but if this is what it takes to get him better so he can function in society then I will do it for him.

I hope people will take more of an interest into the mental health and behavioral health of children. Not all kids with these issues come from bad parents. Believe it or not there are parents out there that want to help thier children but get turned down. I have a job and work, I have also lost jobs because of the issues with my son, even stayed home for 2 years to devote my time to him and it did not help. I just want to get him the help he needs. He is not a bad kid, he has great qualities about him too but he does need help. I want him to have a bright future and to be able to have his dreams come true.

Senators please listen to the parents of children with mental health and behavioral health issues. They are our future too and they need our help to get there. "

Denise wrote on September 16, 2008 5:10 pm:
" Well I can't agree more that this issue is finally coming to a head. I so disagree with the saying that if you have insuance or medicaid that it is easier to get assistance, that is so untrue. It took an act of congress almost to get our 12 year old son help, but when we did they shoved him out the door a week later and said he has ADHD and have him take this meds that in turn made him a zombie??? So to the doctor we go and they take all the meds away and say your son is bipolar -- and this was in two weeks. Where do you go? I have an angry child, threating to hurt himself and others, to a kid hooked on meds to nothing, and told just take him to couseling, my question is have these people lived a week in my home? I am sorry that there is not more help for parents and I mean affordable beause even with insurance you can only have so many counseling sessions with paying the co-pay and then the rest of the visits are out of your pocket. We need to realize society within our youth is not getting any eashier, the drug and alcohol use is starting with very young youth, so yes let's get on the ball and make it so parents have some choices and some help instead of just putting our kids in the system or making parents feel as if they have to sever ties with thier children to get them help. "

Dagny wrote on September 16, 2008 5:28 pm:
" Is there a "liaison" type of position in DHHS to help people like this? Perhaps someone to direct people with questions to the proper programs? Lots of govt agencies have little known programs but I don't think that the answer should be to blanket-advertise them. "

Juan wrote on September 16, 2008 6:03 pm:
" What's the addage? "First do no harm?" Too bad the Unicameral hadn't heard that - could it be that the individual members of the Unicam aren't at fault, but he system? "

Unless you have been there wrote on September 16, 2008 6:21 pm:
" I had lots of problems with my son, in and out of trouble with the law, wouldn't listen or abide by my rules. I tried everything I could to help him. I was turned away from SEVERAL agencies because he had not actually hurt anyone physically! Some wouldn't take him because they said they weren't equipped or educated enough to handle a child with ADHD! The last straw was breaking one of the rules of his probation so I asked for him to be taken to the detention center! It was the absolute hardest thing I ever had to do!! I am sure these families feel the same way!! As far as those talking about what it will do to the teenager, my son and I have never been closer!! He understands why I did it. I guess that makes me a bad parent but it was the best thing I could have done for him BECAUSE I LOVED HIM and he agrees with me now. Whether I agree with what was done or not, I am not the almighty and therefore is not my place to judge. My prayers are with both families and hope they can work everything out. "

Dee wrote on September 16, 2008 6:32 pm:
" remember the story of Solomon? two women were fighting over a baby. each claimed it was their own. Soloman said cut it in 1/2 and each take 1/2. The women who was the mother said no the other women could have the baby. This was because she loved her child so much she would rather have her whole child living with someone else then 1/2 a dead child. Maybe these people who dropped off their kids acknowledged that they couldn't do it and it was better for the child to be where they would get ALL the care they needed as opposed to a 1/2 life. "

Andrea wrote on September 16, 2008 7:02 pm:
" Lets see if the LJS posts this one, they never allow my posts. I am too honest and Bold!! I too have a 13 yr. old son who is Mod. Mentally Challenged with Behavioral Issues. We have seen a VERY FINE Dr. in Lincoln, Dr. Arias and his staff really do care. I am also a Nurse so I have been around ALOT of physicians in my career and have NEVER met anyone like Dr. Arias. My son was on Ritalin and Abilify. When I decided to ween him off of these meds and get him Re-evaluated, it was determined he didn't need meds, he needed a FIRMER hand. And as far as being Diagnosed with Bipolar at a young age is just RIDICULOUS, these kids are pre-teens and teens. They have issues anyway, with feeling like they fit it, not sure if they like their parents at this age, peer pressures, etc...Its ok to swat your child without leaving marks, noses in the corner works, BE FIRM! It works, I know I have 5 children. We as parents need to do OUR jobs and that is to teach right from wrong, NEVER give up and to raise our children to be productive citizens. "

CS wrote on September 16, 2008 7:12 pm:
" They weren't abandoned. Abandoned implies illegality, as abandonment is illegal. Since they were within the tenants of the law stop trying to get your licks in sideways, LJS. "

why wait wrote on September 16, 2008 8:00 pm:
" Why wait until someone drops off a teenager to make such a huge deal of it. The law CLEARLY states that ANY child up to age 18 is accepted at the hospitals. Correct me if I'm wrong, but they practically emphasized the law in it's entirety. Is it a surprise that the first victims were teenagers??? Get some more activities for kids and teens in this state, and maybe there wouldnt need to be a law like this one. But as far as I'm concerned, this law needs to stay in tact as it is now until Lincoln can get some productive activities for kids & teens, and at a decent price, or better yet FREE. "

Sue wrote on September 16, 2008 8:28 pm:
" This is how bad law gets made. Senator Stuthman - shame on you. To get the bill passed, you had to agree to language to include ALL children. Well be careful what you legislate and what you hope for. This is bad, lazy legislation and you should be ashamed that you caved. You created this - and now you are saying "but that was not the intent". Well well look what happened. Live with it now. And next time, stand up for what you know is going to create a problem. This is your doing. "

whatever wrote on September 16, 2008 9:16 pm:
" "Sue" I couldn't have said it better myself. Lazy and IRRESPONSIBLE legislation at it's best. I bet by January we have a whole lot more cases than we do now. The "elite" in this state really have lost touch. Right Arnie? "

Been there wrote on September 16, 2008 9:36 pm:
" I fought Megellan for 2 months while my daughter sat in the detention center. I was bound and determined to get her a higher level of care. It was worth every second of the battle. She spent 6 months at Uta Hallee and today is an amazing young woman. Stay the course and trust your instincts. There is help out there, you just have to fight the fight and hang in there. The Juvenile system in Lincoln is amazing. They embraced my daughter and never gave up on her. The staff at the detention center, the probation officers and the Judge were advocates for my daughter and I will be forever grateful. Trust the process. "

Phil wrote on September 16, 2008 10:28 pm:
" Sorry I didn't get here first......
it wasn't but a few weeks ago when this first hit the news that I said this would happen. yeah, that's right, I'm sayin' "Told Ya So!".
And what did I get? A bunch of folks basically saying I was stupid for even thinking it would be used this way!

Again, "Told ya so!" Now we gotta go back and fix the system, AND the bad parents. Way to go legislature and Ernie Chambers! "

Been there wrote on September 17, 2008 12:12 am:
" State officials may claim their are alternatives, but I beg them to show me the alternatives available.
A few years ago I had a son that suffered from mental health issues. He was bi-polar. He was a state ward, due to trouble with the law. He refused treatment and despite my fight, the state sided with my son in making him get treatment. So he received none. And his behavior became a danger to the family. One night in being so out of control and making death threats to his family and assaulting his dad, LPD was asked to intervene. Our son was told from here on out you conform to the rules or you get out. The son took it as we were throwing him out and LPD told us we couldn't do that. If we threw him out then we were guilty of child neglect and they would ticket us. The officers knew there were other children in the house and their safety was an issue but one officer explained to us that their hands were tied. Because he was a state ward, they could not remove him to anywhere without OJS's ok. And I firmly explained to the officer that he could not remain here. If he did then we ran the risk of losing the other kids, who were not blessed with mental health issues, to a system that already didn't care about our oldest. The officers and I had a stand off as I told them to ticket me, arrest me, I didn't care. Let me in front of a judge to explain the situation, but the son could not and would not be allowed to stay and continue his dangerous and threatening behavior. The officers decided to take him to Cedars for the night to settle the situation. However upon arriving at Cedars I got a call to come pick him up immeadiately. The state would not pay for his stay. They wanted him at home. So I did. The next day I get told that we need to continue the family counseling to resolve the issues. Counseling that they knew my son was not attending.
So I say hurray to the Safe Haven Law. Wished I'd of had the option a few years back because I would have used it. There were no options for us out there. Our son ran the show and this house. And since this battle, I have discovered many stories not far from mine.
Alternatives? What alternatives?
And for those of you who would never dream of abandoning any child, I dare you to walk a mile in someone else's shoes. Of course their are parents out there that think that a moody teen is the end of the world, but we aren't talking a little moody here. We're talking just down right dangerous. And you same people would be the first to scream where were the parents in all this if the child were to go out and hurt someone else. Remember Robbie Hawkins? Remember how the system failed him? There are plenty more kids out there as well as parents who the system continues to fail daily. All because the suggested alternatives are not availble. "

Former System Employee wrote on September 17, 2008 12:20 am:
" To all who have had the unfortunate experience of having to deal with the revolving door that is our pathetic human services system... My heart goes out to you. Our system is failing our kids when they are in crisis, and it doesn't matter what the family income or structure is-- kids sometimes need more than a parent or family is equipped to give, especially in cases when the child is aggressive, suicidal or mentally ill.
To "Been There"...
While I think it's great that you and your daughter were finally able to get some help through the juvenile justice system (and I hope that her successes continue-- congrats to you both!), the issue is that there is little in place for our youths until AFTER they enter the criminal system... This is a tragic failure on the part of our human services system. "

Former foster parent wrote on September 17, 2008 6:34 am:
" The Legislature just did another "favor" for Nebraska's children. The people that had the experience and knowledge to know some of the fall out from this bill, now law, opposed this bill and the majority of Senators voted for the bill. Don't they realize their "intent" always gets misinterpreted.

The "intent" is that if a bio parent cannot get their act together by the time their child has been a ward of the state for 15 out of the last 22 months their parental rights should be terminated. If that is the "intent", how come you can bring a baby home from the hospital born to a mother addicted to meth, the mother finally enters treatment on the 4th attempt whe the child is 18 months old and after 2 months, when the child is 20 months old, the state and the courts return the child to the bio mother.

Wake up Nebraska, the "intent" is not what happens in reality. There is too much room for interpretation.

Go ahead all you hardworking parents(ha!ha!), take you children to the hospital, claim Safe Haven and now the state, the taxpayers and the poor foster parents who get your messed up kid (probably messed up because you are a messed up and have been for years) will take care of them and pay for them until they are 19. Hurry up before the Senators mess it up again, maybe they will actually make it a crime to abandon your child, because right now it seems like it is totally legal.

Am I cynical? Yes! Do I trust the state or the court system to do what is best for Nebraska's children? Absolutely Not!

Speaking from personal experience. "

been there wrote on September 17, 2008 7:44 am:
" To Former System Employee:
Unfortunately, you are absolutely right. All the prevention in the world didn't work for us. The legal system was the only way to get the help we needed. It was a very hard truth to discover. When she was initially arrested for mip, I thought it was the worst thing that could happen. In fact it was the best thing, and only thing that would turn us around. "

Dr Juan wrote on September 17, 2008 7:49 am:
" Magellan is charged with keeping the 'gate' to services. They are told to keep each member at the "least restrictive level" of care. Like any situation, the more removed you are from the situation and the more power you have the less effective you tend to be. Magellan operates by what is on the paper(S) you submit and without face to face contact with the child. They save money by denying service... its as simple as that.

There really are Bi-Polar children. The term got "over used" by a few psychiatrists a while back. I remember when every kid who came into RYH in Kearney came out Bi-Polar. We laughed about at the time because it just wasn't true. But there have been a few, and I've treated them. Life is hell for a child with early onset Bi-Polar and its twice as bad for the family.

Back east I worked in a hospital. One of my jobs was to do ER evaluations for the Psychiatrist on call, report my findings and then manage disposition. Sometimes this meant placing a temporary hold on an individual and not allowing them to leave. This is known as an EPC, or Emergency Protective Custody. How shocked I was to find that here, in Nebraska, the local Police Department is tasked with making this determination! It should be done in a doctor's office or a hosptial. But no... not in Nebraska. Imagine that you are delusional and paranoid... and the POLICE show up to talk to you! I feel bad for the officers who are not trained medical professionals who must make these sorts of judgements, and I feel bad for the people who get handcuffed just because they are mentally ill. I will acknowledge that things are slowly getting better, but until mental health is managed by MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS, and not the Police, the state will always be liable for the charge of "criminalizing" mental illness.

Nebraska, join the 20th century. "

agreeing wwhy wait. wrote on September 17, 2008 8:52 am:
" If the city had more for the kids to do it would be a big help. But the governor is cutting out all of the children's activities (CLC, youth sports). But approving funding for new prisons. Let's take care of our youth and avoid having to drop the children off at the hospital... "

Novel Idea wrote on September 17, 2008 10:49 am:
" Why don't parents learn how to be parents and teach their children how to be upstanding citizens. Every child goes through a few rough patches and needs an attitude adjustment now and again. Dropping them off under this ridiculous law isn't the answer.

That said, I feel for parent whose children have a mental disability therefore causing not easily fixed problems. But, from my experience as a social worker 99% of the time the behavior stems from bad parenting, nothing more. "

Social Worker wrote on September 17, 2008 12:24 pm:
" For all of you that are asking for more services from those of us qualified to provide them--remember they cost money, and taxpayers, volunteers, and philanthropists are the largely the ones to foot the bill. If you truly want more services for children, first advocate for them, then be willing to have the money come out of your own pocket, in one way or another. When property taxes rise to give the school system more money to hire more social workers, don't complain. When state income taxes rise to better fund healthcare options, say OK. When you get a letter in the mail soliciting money, don't throw it away. In the upcoming elections, think of this issue when you put in your vote. "

BC wrote on September 17, 2008 12:48 pm:
" It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that people are not aware of the help that is out there. I believe one of the problems is that when people seek help, nobody is really eager to help. In addition, I believe when people seek help, it takes to long to receive the help. I think the safe haven law is the best thing that has ever happened for our troubled youth. It has now opened up the eyes of everyone and is showing everyone we have some serious problems in getting help to our troubled youth and we need to address the problems now. "