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Woman leaves teen at hospital under safe haven law

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By JoANNE YOUNG / Lincoln Journal Star

Monday, Sep 15, 2008 - 08:29:13 pm CDT

Lawmakers were afraid this would happen: Two older children were abandoned over the weekend under the state’s new safe haven law.

In Lincoln, a 15-year-old boy’s guardian dropped him off at BryanLGH Medical Center West Saturday evening, saying she couldn’t deal with the boy’s behavioral issues, Lincoln Police Chief Tom Casady said.

He and an 11-year-old boy — taken to Immanuel Medical Center in Omaha over the weekend — are the first two to be abandoned under a Nebraska safe haven law that went into effect in July.

Story Photo
Police Chief Tom Casady

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Neither was in any immediate danger when dropped off, said Todd Landry, director of the Children and Family Services Division of the Department of Health and Human Services.

Neither the guardian in Lincoln nor the parent in Omaha will be charged with a crime. Before the law went into effect, they could have been charged with child neglect or abandonment, both misdemeanors, or felony child abuse.

The Lincoln boy, a high school freshman, is staying in a Lincoln emergency shelter. The Omaha boy was admitted to the hospital for evaluation and observation, Landry said.

Both will be in 48-hour protective custody and the county attorneys in Lancaster and Douglas counties will make the determination if the boys will remain in custody, Landry said. The courts will decide what happens next.

Landry said that could include family reunification, alternate placement or a more permanent solution.

The Lincoln boy’s mother died in September 2003, and her sister assumed temporary custody of all five children in the family, including one half-sibling.

The four other youths have already become state wards.

A brother and two sisters now live in group homes. The half-sister became a ward after she broke the law.

The father has lived in Lincoln but has not had custody of the children. He is listed in the mother’s obituary as her life partner.

Casady said the boy’s aunt, when she brought him to BryanLGH, said she was having trouble supervising him because of all of his behavior problems.

Landry and the sponsor of the safe haven law, Sen. Arnie Stuthman of Platte Center, said what happened this weekend was not the intent of the law.

Stuthman said LB157 was initially intended for infants less than 72 hours old who were in danger of being harmed or abandoned in an unsafe place. That’s the way most other states’ safe haven bills are written.

But to get the bill passed, he said, he had to agree to expand the language to include all children.

“This is not intended to be used when a child is unruly or out of control,” he said. “People need to realize the effect on the child and what it will do to families.”

Other options could have been pursued, Landry said.

Jim Blue, president and CEO of Cedars Youth Services, said if a parent or guardian does not feel a child is safe in their own care, he or she can call the Cedars emergency hotline at 437-8888 and receive free temporary shelter for the child.

He was supportive of a safe haven law for younger children, even up to the age of 2, whose   young, unprepared parents cannot deal with parenting, he said.

But the emotional cuts and scars in an older child who is abandoned can be much deeper than those of an infant, he said. An adolescent’s social attachments, let alone family attachments, can be precarious, even in normal situations, he said.

“There are good organizations that can help with teens when situations become stressed,” he said.

Cedars is one of those, he said,  and has been providing shelter for more than 60 years.

Both Landry and Stuthman said they will watch closely what happens with the law in the next few months. If necessary, the Legislature could try to adjust the law, Stuthman said.

Reach JoAnne Young at 473-7228 or jyoung@journalstar.com.


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Seward wrote on September 15, 2008 9:59 am:
" It's easy to want to judge but this is a better option than child abuse. I hope this can be worked out for all parties involved. "

Lola wrote on September 15, 2008 10:04 am:
" I would think you would take a different route in this situation. Safe Haven = abandonment and abandonment = never to be seen again, right?? Did this Aunt just abandon her 15 year old nephew, never to see him again? WOW - that's a tough one for me to swallow even considering behavioral issues..... Feeling your family will abandon you forever = behavioral issues, right?? "

mike wrote on September 15, 2008 10:05 am:
" I knew the law was broad and defined anyone under 18 as a child but I didn't think this would actually happen. So sad. "

Matt wrote on September 15, 2008 10:05 am:
" Why deal with your problems when you can just drop them off on someone else.......right??

Please don't let this be the start of a trend....please! "

jo wrote on September 15, 2008 10:06 am:
" I am glad that opinion was avaible for the woman, I am a parent of a young child that has behavior problems and I know what it like to have a child being so aggressive that you fear for your safety and others around you.

Please don't judge this woman as being a bad person, she did what she felt was best for the child and herself. It would be easy to say what a monster for leaving him but intil you are in her shoes you truely don't understand. "

Jack wrote on September 15, 2008 10:08 am:
" Well how convenient. This child is a behavioral problem I can no longer deal with, so I'll just dump him at the hospital. Wish this law was in affect when my teen was unruly, I could have saved thousands of dollars in therapy and treatment. Look out State of NE. the flood gates have been openened!! Cannot imagine how much this law will cost the taxpayers of this state. "

Dee wrote on September 15, 2008 10:11 am:
" its sad but there are very few ways to access services in nebraska. Maybe this wouldnt have happened if there were ways for lower middle class and middle class to access mental and behavioarl health care. Mental health parity could cover some of it but then you have the great masses of uninsured. "

good wrote on September 15, 2008 10:13 am:
" I am glad that this woman took these steps rather than harming the child any further. Obviously this woman isn't prepared to deal with the situation. Hopefully this is the start of some help for this kid in learning to deal with the issues that he must be facing to be with his aunt in the first place instead of his parents. I hope he finds the right foster family to assist him. "

Bill wrote on September 15, 2008 10:14 am:
" We were just talking about this type of situation yesterday.We are going to see a LOT more of this where BAD parents who can't take responsibility for their actions will push their problems off on the taxpayers of this state. This was bad legislation to include anything but infant/toddler. There will soon be a spike in teens in foster care. "

Dan wrote on September 15, 2008 10:32 am:
" This is an awesome law. I constantly tell my kids if they keep misbehaving that we will take a ride to the hospital. You talk about shaping up fast. I have even gone to the extent of driving them all the way to the hospital and opening the door. "

Angie wrote on September 15, 2008 10:32 am:
" You have got to be kidding me?! How in the hell is she going to leave a 15 yr old and walk away and forget about him? What kind of person would do that? I may be able to understand a young mommy leaving her unwanted baby at the hospital but this was a 15 yr old. Why will she face no abandonment charges? Was the law set up to protect the people who just don't want to deal with their kids? I guess I love my kids too much to think like this. Yes they drive me nuts as do my pets, but I am their mom and this is my privilege, to love them and to care for them, even if they are being naughty. This law is crazy!! "

parent wrote on September 15, 2008 10:37 am:
" wow! I can't wait to show this to my 15 year old! "

Carl wrote on September 15, 2008 10:45 am:
" I think it is great. These kids are completely out of control today. They are vicious and violent and if you are frail like me, when your kid punches you in the face it hurts. Drop more of these violent kids off at the hospital and let the state take care of their smart alleck violent children. "

whatever wrote on September 15, 2008 10:54 am:
" It's clear from this article there isn't abuse in this situation so I'm not sure why the "abuse" posts. How many of us who have had teenagers were at our wits end with a teenager. That's right almost all of us. Now today's parents have an option to abdicate their responsibility to "ride it out" and "work it out" and just "drop the problem off". This is a very stupid law that in the long run will cost Nebraska millions of dollars in taxes and increased costs of doing business for some institutions. More importantly dropping of a "teen" that isn't abused but is just difficult to deal with will in the long run be more harmful than helpful. Let's all hope this case is the only case and it isn't the first of flood of cases. "

me wrote on September 15, 2008 10:56 am:
" is there a difference between couldnt take care of and didnt want to take care? this incident will just add to the boys problems. Gosh, I feel for that kids. I have a 17 year old and yes he is a pain at times, but you CANT give up on your kids. Nothing like feeling like your tossed away garbage when your 15 and already have issues. He can come live with my family. Ive got more than enough patience for a kid. "

Mom wrote on September 15, 2008 11:05 am:
" There are times when kids get into more stuff then parents (gardians) can help with. The kids are troubled and we don't know how to help them no matter what we try we don't get through to them This could be a way for those who can't afford to get help can get it. This could have a happy ending. It doesn't say she will never take him back but I can understand why she wouldn't want to have him at home if he isn't falling the rules of the house and causing more problems for the rest of the family. She just wants him to get the much needed help he needs. It hard to live with a troubled teen and having a place for them to go is better then having the child beaten to death. Thank god she had a choice. It had to be bad for her to take them there. Good luck to the whole family. "

Good for the kid... wrote on September 15, 2008 11:06 am:
" Though I understand some of the harsh comments directed at the aunt, this law could have just saved this teen from abandonment or abuse. As a teen who suffered depression and lived in a family who couldn't afford to help me, I saw this helplessness turn into physical abuse. For this teen this law not only gets him the help he needs but could have saved him further damage. Always better to abandon a kid (no matter the age) than to toss him out on the street or to abuse him.

Is it a perfect solution? No, of course not. But now this kid is getting the help he needs and his chances at becoming a productive member of society are much much stronger. "

Sunshine wrote on September 15, 2008 11:07 am:
" I really feel that there should be some type of line here. Infants/toddlers yes and the same rings true for adolescents. They too are in some cases in need of help that they cannot get from their parents. I mean what about the 17 yr old that was found in a cage and only weighed, what was it like 70 lbs? Considering that wasn't in Ne. Maybe the Aunt should have went to social services, I mean did she try every resource available for her and her nephew before she left him at the hospital? "

Mad Mom wrote on September 15, 2008 11:24 am:
" This way is better than child abuse,but I seem to remember another boy who was also abbandoned to the state of Nebraska. Lets just hope this kid gets some real support, some love and attention so he doesnt end up incapable of handling life. Is Nebraska social services really able to help him or will he too end up in a Mall in the not to near future killing people and then commiting suicide? We can only pray he wont feel so worthless and such a burden! "

nemo wrote on September 15, 2008 11:27 am:
" What the heck? We don't know why this aunt is this child's guardian. Where are the parents? What kind of behavioral problems? What kind of actions has she taken in the past to deal with the problems? Honestly the system is loaded with kids like these. Or worse, they are on the streets doing whatever they please to whoever because parents/guardians have no control over them. Punishment or treatment only works on people who want to receive it. wish i knew as much as all you that don't like this law. "

Yo wrote on September 15, 2008 11:29 am:
" Jack & Angie, it wasn't even her kid. Who knows where the parents are, but this aunt inherited a problem child that she probably was not prepared to deal with. Lincoln sure has its share of judges. Mostly amateurs. "

poor kid wrote on September 15, 2008 11:32 am:
" jo i'm pretty sure that child won't understand, and if some one else is giving up on him, he'll give up on himself, instead of abandoning him... why not bring him to a group home that works on behavioral skills? boys town maybe? I hope the kid doesn't give up on himself, nothing is more depressing and hurtful and emotionally damaging then being abandoned, first of, i would not threaten my kids EVER to abandon them... and i wouldn't give up either. Yes, times get hard and behaviors can be unruly, but thats part of growing up, and if you have that bad of problems keeping your child in like, either get them checked out, or DISCIPLINE and i dont me.. you are grounded for 2 weeks, but you can still have your tv, playstation 3 and cell phone.... the whole reason kids are unruly now is because we are not strict like we use to be, probably because people can't even spank their own child, there is a difference between abuse and spanking, if you bruise your kid because you are that ticked, you need to go to anger management............ "

JS wrote on September 15, 2008 11:32 am:
" Dee - you absolutely hit the nail on the head. Some of you posters need to note that it was an Aunt/Guardian who chose to drop this child off. She didn't chose to have this child and probably did the best she could for him. It was not HER responsiblity to raise this child in the first place. Would you agree to be responsible for your nephew with behavioral issues?!?! Kudos to her for having tried. "

wake up wrote on September 15, 2008 11:33 am:
" This law is in place to help those in need of help. Just because someone used it for what it is intended for, doesn't mean that they are bad parents. You don't know what is going on their home.

We are the LAST state to have a such a law. The rest of the Union bashes Nebraska for being backward, now most of you want to get rid of laws that keep up with the rest of the union. We talk about being equal witht the rest of the States, but we are fighting a low that is designed to help people. If we get rid fo this law, this will only add to the sterotype that we are backwards rednecks.

It's good law, it protect those who can't be protected. Even if it's a 15 year old kid. "

to the judgemental people wrote on September 15, 2008 11:38 am:
" First of all I don't think this should have even made the news. Second, no one knows what this woman was dealing with. Maybe she wasn't just dealing with an unruly child maybe he was abusive or maybe he is one of those kids that sneaks out and grafittis public properties that I'm sure we pay for with our taxes. Don't be so quick to judge until you know all the facts. I'm sure the decision to drop him off was not an easy one and probably wasn't a spur of the moment decision. "

Juan wrote on September 15, 2008 11:40 am:
" This is beyond sad. It is unbelievable that the State undermines family responsibility by making a law that approves abandonment at any age (someone didn't think this through). The State should never take over a responsibility that should be done at the level it was intended to be done (the family, the most local). "

Perspective wrote on September 15, 2008 11:42 am:
" I think some of you that are demonizing this lady should put things into perspective. No, I don't think what she did is right but we don't know this specific situation. I would have to believe that his behavioral issues go beyond being "naughty" as some you have stated. Naughty is one thing but out of control is another. Let's not pass judgement on these people who have most likely already been through more than any of you. "

PK wrote on September 15, 2008 11:44 am:
" Well, just think. When the conservatives have their way we'll have a ton more unwanted children ready to be dropped off. Get ready taxpayers of America! "

Oh boy here it comes... wrote on September 15, 2008 11:50 am:
" I can feel a bunch of soapboxers warming up their I-told-you-so speeches.

I have to admit, at first, I wondered if this was a protest of sorts by somebody who was so against the safe haven law. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. But the law should probably be altered in the future so we can't drop off teenagers. I don't know...last state in the nation to come up with a safe haven law, and we managed to flub it up. Unbelievable. "

me wrote on September 15, 2008 11:52 am:
" You know I'm sure this was a hard decision to make for the aunt and then you turn around and put this in the paper for the whole world to see... or at least Lincoln for that matter. As for the boy, he must be traumatized and then he sees this in the paper! That's real good! Let's put all our faults out for the world to see! Why don't they just keep this private? "

Nina wrote on September 15, 2008 11:54 am:
" The best outcome possible at this point. Too bad those kids weren't turned over as infants, so they wouldn't have severe behavioral issues now that arise out of not being wanted and seeing evidence of it daily. Exactly why this law is needed. "

Kindness wrote on September 15, 2008 11:54 am:
" Angie, did you ever stop to think that maybe the reason this boy was is his aunt's custody, was to take him out of a bad situation he was in with his parents. I am sure that this was an extremely hard decision for the aunt and we have no right to judge her. Maybe she loves her nephew so much that she felt this was the best thing for him. How dare you imply that she doesn't love him enough. Shame on you and everyone else that has not clue to the situation.
If you don't like it, then quit complaining and go to the legislature, they are the ones that opened the door. "

Humm wrote on September 15, 2008 11:58 am:
" The state I came from, the law was meant for babies. To keep them from
being dumped in dumpsters or left anywhere. Until the law unwed mothers would have a baby in a restroom and dump it in anything anywhere. Got to
be wide spread. But never heard of dumping an older child. Being an aunt
there quit possibly was alot of resentment which if out of control could
end up a serious matter, not only to her but whomever the child wanted to
take the resentment out on. But I think this law goes too far. Yeah
I'm already paying taxes for a neighbor's metally disburbed child to keep
in an institution while the family lives happily the rest of their lives,
traveling, buying new cars, exceptional living style, while I set at home
saving to pay the taxes!!!! This has gotten out of hand like everything
else. My childhood friend's mother had 9 children, one a male in a
wheel chair with cerebal palsey and cared herself constantly for that boy
until he was in his 50's and she died. He was put in a nursing home and
couple years later died. And that mother was a crippled polio person
herself. Never once heard her complain nor did it ever cost the taxpayers
a dime. But today, its dump your uncomfortable problems on everybody
else so I can live happily ever after!! "

Eric W wrote on September 15, 2008 12:00 pm:
" I'm amazed at the "better this than child abuse" argument. How about a third option: accepting responsibility for YOUR child? And parents who can't or won't do that should be severely punished by our laws... not given a pass. Society is beginning to pay a hefty price for disintegrating families. Maybe one day we'll wise up and take action to strengthen families. This law is a travesty. "

A LOVING Parent wrote on September 15, 2008 12:11 pm:
" Do you all think that THREATENING your children with this is the answer? Have you asked them WHY they behave the way they do? THREATENING to take them to the hospital (as well as leaving them there) is the EASY way out and is NOT PARENTING! How would you feel if your parents told you that you were UNWANTED growing up and that they would leave you someplace if you didn’t “shape up”!?!? No wonder they are acting up with your lack of parenting skills! This is a depressing point in Nebraska history that I’m sure will make national headlines (as our loose law certain did). It saddens me that parenting is this terrible in our state… and maybe if the law gets those children away from parents without the skills then it will be of benefit. "

Easy to judge wrote on September 15, 2008 12:17 pm:
" Have the people who've made comments criticizing these parents/guardians for dropping these kids off at the hospitals ever had a violent, seriously behaviored disordered child to raise or living in their home? If you haven't, then here's your chance to step up to the plate & provide a foster home for these kids & let's see how long you last. It's not easy. There's very little support. The parents/guardians are afraid for their own safety as well as for the other kids that live in the home. If the parents/guardians try & defend themselves, they're scared that they'll be investigated by social services & the legal system. A friends of mine had a child that got more violent as he aged. He broke her arm & nose. He choked his younger brother. He destroyed their home & property on a repeated basis. She tried police, social services, community based programs. religious based programs that were in state as well as out of state, mental health programs (they were only good for short term), & would go after any suggestion of help that people would offer her. In the end, she relinquished custody of her teenager in order to save the family & because she thought this boy would kill his younger brother. It was not an easy decision for her to make but after several years of trying to get help & getting doors slammed in her face or being pushed off onto another agency, she did what she had to do. It's easy to stand back & criticize until you've walked in these parents/guardians shoes. Instead of criticizing, offer these parents/guardians as well as their children relief, prayers, compassion, empathy & being non judgmental until you know the whole story. "

Whoa wrote on September 15, 2008 12:18 pm:
" Gosh people... ease up, already! I doubt she's planning on never seeing the kid again! I watched some very good friends of mine struggle with their son several years ago. He had severe behavioral issues -- and got caught up in drugs and alcohol -- hung out with other kids who were doing the same. He stole from them, hit his mother, threatened his family, etc. They tried EVERYTHING to help him (and themselves). He was in and out of treatment and the child advocacy center. Finally, after years of trying to help him, they did the only thing they could do -- relinquish custody to the state. Broke their hearts -- and I'm sure, his as well. Years later, he seems to be doing okay -- not great, but okay. Sometimes kids/adults have problems that are just too much for the family to handle. Please stop judging people negatively when you don't know all the circumstances. "

One-House Clown Show wrote on September 15, 2008 12:21 pm:
" This really points out one of the biggest inherent flaws in a one-house legislature - it's way too easy to ramrod through bad legislation, without amending it into a more sensible form. They passed this turkey because this issue was the freak of the week and they wanted to stop the e-mails and phone calls. "

NOT SEP wrote on September 15, 2008 12:22 pm:
" Uh, Matt??? Been there Done that. Practically begged for help with a child with escalating behaviours, short of following her around 24/7. It wasn't until the powers that be lost patience with her (after 3 years!) that we finally got the help she needed. "

Julie wrote on September 15, 2008 12:22 pm:
" Quit judging this family! Would you rather be outraged that someone admitted she can't care for a child, was desperate and left him legally for someone else to take care of? Or would you rather be outraged that someone admitted she couldn't care for a child and was so desperate that she killed him? Just count your blessings and pray for others! "

glass houses wrote on September 15, 2008 12:23 pm:
" rocks for sale...bucket of rocks for sale...

the law's there and it works. kudos to the legislature for catching up to the 21st century. And what's with all the negativity towards the aunt? What about the 15 year old?!? He's old enough to know how to behave. Blame him not his aunt. "

BC wrote on September 15, 2008 12:27 pm:
" I think this is great. I think the spillover benefits will be worth it. "

emma wrote on September 15, 2008 12:29 pm:
" I am disgusted with the parents who are threatening their children with this law. Parents need to be parents and take control of their children. As a person who works in a field dealing with non-parenting paretns, all too many times it is me who has to raise someone elses child because a parent just doesn't want to deal with it. People, there are parenting classes available if you really have no clue how to be a parent. I have 4 of my own, and sure it would be easy when they are being brats to just drop them off somewhere so I could do something I would like to do. How stupid. We need a law that allows the hospitals to remove reproduction organs on those who can't parent. "

Mom wrote on September 15, 2008 12:29 pm:
" I am appalled at the posts here! How many of the people which have posted know this person or their situation? As a parent of a child who has behavioral issues, at times severe and threaten the safety of others, I can understand how utilizing the safe haven law may be the last resort! The services available in Lincoln are inefficent and do not help much. We go out to Omaha for services after exhausting our options here.
Sadly, this child has obviosly had some issues in his childhood, evidenced by having a gaurdian. Who knows if he was abused, abandonned, undiagnosed, ect. prior to moving in with his aunt. Also, if the child does not have insurance then there are esentailly no services in this town.
Please remember, not everyone can be as perfect as the majority of the people posting here! "

Judge Not wrote on September 15, 2008 12:34 pm:
" I think it's great that so many posters know the ins and outs of this person's situation. Did you ever consider that this aunt may have only recently become the guardian of a child that was already out of control? She may have other kids at home who were being threatened or needed protection, or she herself may have been afraid. If you want to equate this to your 15 year old's behavior, good for you, but I somehow doubt that was the case here. "

Reality wrote on September 15, 2008 12:43 pm:
" We can all try and judge this woman all we want but the truth is none of us readers know all the facts of the situation. Would it be any different if the woman were sitting at home dealing with an out of control 15 yr old and called the police? The answer is no. The child would have been taken into custody and likely taken to LGH West to the CAPS program. The only difference in this case is the lady gave him a ride. So come on people this has been happening for years. Some of us are just fortunate enough to have children that can be difficult at times but able to work through. However, for many families that is not the case some families deal with this daily and there reality is something that no one can imagine. As a social worker I think it is helpful to have something available to help all families no matter how old the child is. It is not like a 45 yr old woman with a 15 yr old that is having alot of problems needs less help than a teen mother who has a baby that she cannot care for. We all have limits and for each one of us that limit is different, there is no magic age. We cannot judge another persons choices until we have walked in there shoes. "

Al wrote on September 15, 2008 12:43 pm:
" did anyone notice that the guardian of the 15 year old is the Aunt? Are any of you who are saying that she should take responsbility and deal with him herself wondering where the mother of the boy is? I'm just saying we don't know the whole story and this isn't a mother giving up on a child she decided to have, this is an Aunt who decided she was unable to care for someone else's child. "

been there wrote on September 15, 2008 12:46 pm:
" There are times when this is the only thing left to do. You have a child that is abusive to you and tearing things up, the authorities say that as long as that child is not hurting themselves they will do nothing. You call the places that say they will help close the door in your face, what else are you suppose to do. If you touch the child, in any way, to stop them you are called a child abuser but if the child is the abuser nothing is done. There are no winners in this and each situation has a seperate set of circumstances. Either way, your damn'd if you do anything and damn'd if you don't. I hope these children and families get the help they need and are crying out for. "

Ryman wrote on September 15, 2008 12:59 pm:
" Maybe if parents would be allowed to be parents and be able to discipline their children without everyone screaming child abuse things like this wouldn't happen. The state laws have tied parents hands and now they have to be friends instead of parents. "

rac wrote on September 15, 2008 1:05 pm:
" This is a law the liberals just love. Now you can escape all of your problems by dumping them off on society and the taxpayers - let them take care of it. After all, you should be free to do whatever you want, right? How dare those right-wing "wingnuts" force you to take responsibility for your children, act like a parent, and raise them the right way? How dare they! "

Old fashioned tuff love wrote on September 15, 2008 1:07 pm:
" It will be a miracle if this kid isn't locked up for the rest of his life. The state doesn't raise kids well. If your own family doesn't want you that means, probably no one does, and if that's the way you look at life, how do you think you are gonna treat people? It's a sad shame. IF only we could go back to the days when kids stayed kids because they were afraid of their parents knockin' them upside the head, and parents knew they could do that for the betterment of their children and society. I would go to jail for "abusing" my child before I would give up on them. It's a shame that these seem to be the options. "

Jen C wrote on September 15, 2008 1:08 pm:
" What's the difference between what this woman did, and a parent who puts their child in some other type of behavioral program (like CAPS)? The only difference I can see is that this woman won't be financially responsible for it. Does that mean she's irresponsible? Not necessarily. This was her nephew, remember, and perhaps she's a single parent with other children at home, and can't afford the extra expense of psychological treatment for him. This provides a safer option for both she and the boy, rather than just turning him out on the street. Don't be so quick to judge. I realize how hard it must be to empathize with someone like her when you've lived and led a flawless life, but you must remember that not everyone has white picket fences..... "

To Bill...... wrote on September 15, 2008 1:13 pm:
" In case you haven't noticed, the "spike" of teens in foster care has already happened. There aren't enough places to put teens anymore. There also is no help out there with teens who have behavioral problems. They either have to have mental problems or be a criminal. What if there were other children in the home and this child's behavior was having an illeffect on them? Sometimes we do what we feel we never could. It's a shame there isn't more help out there. "

To Carl wrote on September 15, 2008 1:16 pm:
" Not all kids this age are vicious and violent. My 15 year old almost 16 is a nice young man and I am a single mother. He has an attitude at times but he AND his friends are all nice young men! It's sad that this happened to this child but better than being abused! "

I agree wrote on September 15, 2008 1:18 pm:
" with Dee. IF there were more options for people of low or middle income to access family and mental health counseling then perhaps these kids wouldn't have been dropped off. I am actually surprised that Nebraska (of all places) is the one state that is forward enough to think of expanding the age. Unfortunately, I also think that the legislature never thought that anyone would actually drop off a child (vs an infant). I don't agree that it's the best choice and I wouldn't do it but if you are dealing with a child who has behaviorial issues, what do you do if you can't get them help? "

Pain in the wrote on September 15, 2008 1:21 pm:
" Who wasn't an occasional pain in the backside when they were kids/teenagers? I'm sure my parents wanted to ship me off a few times, but they didn't. If I was abandoned at a young age I'm sure my life would be exponentially worse than it is now. Barring an abusive situation, these parents would appear to be selfish either due to financial reasons or just because they don't want the "hassle" of their children. This law needs to be amended. "

what wrote on September 15, 2008 1:37 pm:
" how can someone do this? i am sorry, but i would never ever ever abandon my nephew, niece or child. children are so precious! i feel so horrible for the 15yr old boy... how he must feel... so unwanted... so neglected... even if he did have problems, you work thru them.. you get some help... you dont just give up on life and abandon a human being with feelings.... god help this poor boy and the woman who was left in charge to be his guardian... what is life coming to???? "

Linda wrote on September 15, 2008 1:39 pm:
" Do any of you have any idea how difficult it is to get a child (of ANY age) help with emotional/behavioral issues? Not only is it extremely expensive, because most health care limits coverage, the time it takes to get the help is unbelievable. You can't just ask for help, take them to Boystown (any idea how hard it is to get a child accepted there? VERY!!) and get immediate relief. Sometimes it truly is an emergency situation. Maybe that was the case here. I'm glad she had a option. "

Carol wrote on September 15, 2008 1:41 pm:
" Remember, we don't know the facts. Perhaps the aunt has small children at home who are at risk if she is the guardian of the teen. Perhaps this is a good opportunity to expand on teh "good organizations" that help with unruly teens. "

Diane wrote on September 15, 2008 1:44 pm:
" When we started to use the term "throw away generation", I didn't realize that it would include children. Perhaps they are in better hands now but I don't feel that the family should be completely free of responsibility. If the children are out of control it's most likely because of the parenting. Why do we keep putting blame on the kids? "Kids today" blah, blah, blah...how about PARENTS today? Wake up parents/families! Where are YOUR children right now? Who are they with? What are they doing? If you can't answer even one of these questions then you'd better take action and find a way to be a better parent. And for those who threaten their children with dropping them off and abandoning them - you are the parents who SHOULD find a better home for your children because obviously you don't know how to talk to or listen to your child. Threats are not a way of communication! I pray that these two boys find wonderful, permanent homes. Maybe their "behavior problems" are cries for love. You know the saying - "if you can't get positive attention, negative attention is better than no attention at all". These poor kids. I know! Let's drop these parents off just anywhere for their behavior problems! It all starts at home. "

Intended or Not wrote on September 15, 2008 1:52 pm:
" I agree that this was not how this law was intended to be read, however, I applaud these individuals for using the safe-haven versus just dumping these kids on the street or kicking them out.

My brother was kicked out of the house at the age of 14 years. This was before safe-haven, child abuses and other such terms were used. He floundered, struggled,and never really recovered from that situation.
He died in 1993 in an accident, but I know that memory of that situation haunts other family members. The stressful environment of the 70's along with lack of resources makes me wonder how we survived.

Is it too broad? Probably, but I prefer it this way to the alternative of young people kicked out on the street. "

Amy wrote on September 15, 2008 2:30 pm:
" Hey Carl! That's great that you think the states should take care of them, but where do you think the states are going to get their money? YOU AND ME!!!!

There are plenty of ACCESSIBLE programs to help parents/guardians and their violent or behaviorally difficult teens, many of which are free of charge. I think a combination of laziness, fear, and weakness is to blame here. Even those that are behaviorally challenged can learn respect.

And to "good," what do you mean by the woman wouldn't have hurt the child any further? The child wasn't being harmed. He is being harmed more on the long-term by being abandoned by the only person he thought he could trust! "

concerned wrote on September 15, 2008 2:32 pm:
" It looks like the state has set itself up to now become the caretaker for teens who have had unresponsible parents and those who wish to emotional check out of the struggle of teen parenting. So now even more, We the tax payers are going to be paying for the state to rear those unfortunate teens. The state already has an above average number of children in custody and already there are far less nuclear homes willing to adopt teens; when all these teens needed to begin with was a stable home. "

.. wrote on September 15, 2008 2:38 pm:
" you must take responsibility..if you choose to have a child or are a guardian of one. you should never give up on your child...throwing them into the system will make the child even worse....people should really think about his rule...the age should definately be looked into getting changed. "

dup wrote on September 15, 2008 2:48 pm:
" I'm not going to judge, since I know little of these situations. I don't know what kind of behavior wsas involved, but I have to think getting these kids in a program where they can be helped, has to be better than a person who is inadequate in the parental role trying to deal with the unruly child, this person is not trained and may lose their temper. Yes, it's hard on the child, but what kind of behavior on the child's part precipitated such a drastic step as taking them to the hospital and abandoning them there? Maybe it would serve as a wake-up call to the kid? It's a tough call, not knowing the specifics. "

if youve never dealt wrote on September 15, 2008 2:48 pm:
" If you've never dealt with a BD child, you have no room to judge this woman. I've worked with children/teens with behavioral disorders for years, and they are extremely trying and can be horribly difficult. Sometimes, there are circumstances where- for the safety of the child, the adult, and often times other children, it is necessary to place the child elsewhere. This law makes that possible. "

Copstar wrote on September 15, 2008 3:07 pm:
" So many times we, as officers, go on calls for service where parents are having behavioral issues with their children and are asking for the police to "fix it". Often times the parents want the police to take their children "somewhere". As if there is a magic place we can drop off children who are misbehaving so the parents can have a break in being parents...now I guess we have found the magic place. I sure hope the hospitals prepare themselves for the line at the door. "

Douglas wrote on September 15, 2008 3:42 pm:
" I will not judge the decisions in these two cases. At times we all have to falter towards logic and away from compassion and emotion. The adults involved with these two children made tough decisions and I cannot say I would do differently in the same circumstances. I doubt it but I hope I never need to know the answer. "

Reggie wrote on September 15, 2008 3:43 pm:
" I think many of the families who drop off these "behavior problem" kids don't know where the help is. Too many agencies and services tell them "No" or "Not our area, sorry". Major cracks in which these children and families fall through since no one steps up to help them. Obviously the first thing that comes to my mind is the parents need to step up and do their job. Behavioral problems aren't society's debt to pay. Those are your kids parents. Step up to the plate and be accountable. "

Rae wrote on September 15, 2008 3:45 pm:
" I have worked mental health for twenty years. Getting someone to help you isnt always easy. Unless the person is threatening suicide or gonna kill someone, you often have to wait weeks for appointments. Sometimes the appt you need is 2 months down the road.

I dont like this law. But I also have worked in the system and know that it isnt as easy as it looks to always get the help you need- when you are already at the end of your rope. Everyone keeps on talking about all the programs out there. Yes, we do have some great programs here in LIncoln. But those people doing the helping are often over worked, overwhelmed and have outlandish case loads. And on top of it....human service doesnt pay squat for what the workers are expected to do. So, dont fool yourself in thinking that someone can just dial a number and some agency is gonna come running to save the day.

Not specific to this story, but I have worked with some messed up kids. And I dont ask "I wonder why they are messed up?" I usually think.. "why wouldnt they be messed up with the adults they are living with." Again- I dont know anything about this family.....but I do know that alot of kids are abandoned, hurt, .....and then we wonder why they are angry and act out. It isnt always physical abuse that hurts.

How about some love.......instead of thinking we know what is really going on here......... "

Jen C wrote on September 15, 2008 3:52 pm:
" Oh for God's sake, the drama queens are out in droves today, aren't they?? These are TWO (2) children who have been left at a hospital under the Safe Haven law. Where are all of these lines you doomsdayers are proclaiming will immediately form? Step back and breathe and try to inject a little more realism into your worlds. This law is not, and has not turned into, a "get out of parenting free" card. Two children out of how many "naughty", "unruly", "difficult" teenagers in the state of Nebraska? Seriously, put things into perspective folks. My guess is the situation is a tad bit more serious than the parent/guardian just not wanting the responsibility anymore. Good grief.... "

this is so wrong wrote on September 15, 2008 4:02 pm:
" also, I can appreciate those that are trying to play "devil's advocate" and defend the actions of this woman on the premise that we don't know the full situation, but I'm quite sure that there is/was a more responsible way of "getting the kid help" .....you know its more helpful to set a good example, love the children that are in your care and always remain the adult "

Radio wrote on September 15, 2008 4:05 pm:
" The radio just said this boy's mother died some years ago. It may be that this aunt was never prepared or never intended to be a parent. In any event, I hope it all works out. "

Anya wrote on September 15, 2008 4:16 pm:
" When is a child not a child? Who knows! For the purposes of this law, it is anyone under 19. Yet we have a national group trying to lower the legal age for drinking to 18. Seems to me by the time a person is out of high school, they should leave home and go to college or get a job! Why keep an obnoxious person around once you have raised and educated them? Let them come home and be a part of the family again once they have matured! "

CS wrote on September 15, 2008 4:26 pm:
" Hmmm....Because they aren't paying taxes either? I have to wonder how you know so much about their financials. Maybe they have insurance, maybe they have medicaid-but I doubt it if they "live(s) happily the rest of their lives,traveling, buying new cars, exceptional living style..." since medicaid has a means test. In any case this tire argument of "MY taxes this and MY taxes that" is getting old. Medicaid is mostly funded by Federal dollars, so you, me and some guy in Duluth are paying .00000001% of this person's care. If you want to complain about LPS, however...... "

Does anyone notice wrote on September 15, 2008 4:50 pm:
" how many children are 'out of control' these days? And why is that? The problem is taking on nightmarish proportions, and the number of children with behavior problems stemming orgranic issues is dramatically lower than the number of kids ending up in the system. It irritates me greatly how so many people are ready to accept that kids just 'turn out bad'. We mold them and shape them from the moment they are born. Obviously this kid has some problems, and it's highly likey that they were beyond this woman's control, but how tragic is that?? This nation is 'raising' monster's, and I hope this makes people really evaluate where it's stemming from, and we might take steps to start with every one of our own children before this problem skyrockets. The facilities for children who need placement are beyond full. Where are we going to put kids who need 'help', when MOST of the time, the parents need to be consistent and adult?? "

Max A. wrote on September 15, 2008 5:17 pm:
" This is in response to Rae, who appears to hold adults responsible for the actions of their adolescents. In some cases you are absolutely correct, parents are not parenting their children. However, there are a vast majority of parents who are parenting their children from day one and yet the teen makes horrible choices. I've worked with many terrific parents who have done all that they could, yet their teen still chose to commit crimes, to ignore the parents rules and to persist in doing what they wanted to, when they wanted to. Why? Because too many teens feel entitlted or feel that they won't get caught, and if they do get caught, it's no big deal. None of us has walked in either to the two adults shoes therefore none of us should judge them. And for those of you who say that you would never leave your child at a hospital due to behavioral issues, think again. You have no idea what these adults have been through with their children. It may be a credit to them that they didn't kick the kid out to live on the streets. At least the adults took the kids some place safe. "

jo wrote on September 15, 2008 6:25 pm:
" remember she is the aunt not the mother, the mother might be deceased and she was granted custody. She might have tried everything, but also has to look at whats best for her children? unfourtunetly this is quicker and easier then going through social services and the court system. "

Sf wrote on September 15, 2008 6:32 pm:
" this is going to be the trend you better believe it, they need to state the law differently, whose to say anyone that has a child with "behavior problems" just get rid of them this is just WRONG! the parent or guardians are sending out the wrong message here too, by saying you are not worth the trouble of helping I'll let someone else carry the burden. but you know society has done this. There are very little consequences children face these days, they are just taken to a hospital and given to someone else so they can figure out what to do with the child. I say again this wrong.

"do the right thing" because if I didn't I knew what the consequences would be and there are "

No responsibility wrote on September 15, 2008 8:04 pm:
" With this law people can have children and just wake up one morning and decide they don't want to be a parent anymore and drop them off at the hospital. Raising teenagers isn't easy and now you don't have to parent them if you don't want to!! Way to go NE!!!!!!!! "

Pain is in Fantasy land wrote on