Mr. Sportsknowitall, 8/31

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Dear Mr. Sportsknowitall: How come we don’t see tackle-eligible plays or the lonesome end or the fumblerooskie or any of the other fun plays we used to see in college football? B.D.

That’s because they’re illegal. Under NCAA and high school rules (except for eight-man and six-man) players wearing numbers 50-79 are always ineligible. The fumblerooskie (remember Husker all-great guard Dean Steinkuhler picking up the “fumble” and racing for a stunning gain in the 1984 Orange Bowl against Miami?) is illegal since the mid-1990s because it was “confusing.”

Confusing? What about the draw play against the Husker defenses of Kevin Cosgrove?

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The “lonesome end” was a great play, highlighted by Army’s Bill Carpenter’s play in 1958. Carpenter would stand on the sideline, facing his coaches, waving his arms, acting like he was not part of the play. The ball was snapped, he’d dart downfield and bingo.

That’s not to be confused with Cal’s touchdown into the band in the end zone or Carlisle’s “hidden” ball trick, where the ball was slipped under somebody’s loose-fitting jersey.

Dear Mr. Sportsknowitall: What is the difference between high school, NCAA and NFL rules? R.R.

Seriously, in high school and the NFL, all players must wear shoes, but don’t have to wear socks. In NCAA football, you don’t have to wear shoes, or a cup.

Dear Mr. Sportsknowitall: What is the secondary? G.D.

The defensive line is called the line because they line up on the ball. The linebackers are called that because they often back up the line. The primary job of the secondary is to stop pass plays that were, long ago, the secondary plays to the primary runs. However, since the game has changed to so much passing, the secondary should be called the primary. But that’s confusing in an election year.

Holy Cow and Goodbye Mr. Spaulding at khambleton@journalstar.com or 473-7313.