What does it mean to be a godparent?
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BY KATHRYN CATES MOORE/Lincoln Journal Star
When Libby and Steve Jaros lead the baptismal prep class for groups of parents at St. Joseph Catholic Church, they speak from experience.
With eight children, they have given a lot of thought to the sacrament and to the selection of godparents.
The role of the godparent in the Roman Catholic Church is an important one — not only at the beginning of a child’s spiritual path, but throughout his life.
It’s not just sending a card on birthdays.
Or merely showing up at the confirmation ceremony with a present.
And it has nothing to do with Marlon Brando or “The Godfather,” a movie and novel that forever linked the term to the Italian underworld.
Historically in the Catholic Church, as far back as the year 800 when infant baptism became the norm, sponsors were called “patrinus” or “godfather.”
Chosen by the child’s parents, then and now, that person pledges to accept the responsibility to maintain a special lifelong relationship with the child built on their faith.
In the class, Libby Jaros likes to stress that it should be someone who “lives their faith,” she said. “Living with integrity, a love of God and faith and striving to be a role model” are examples of that, she said.
Knowing that there is a tendency automatically to select a favorite relative or friend, she adds that it should also be a person who is “prayerful” because “it takes an effort.”
The Rev. Christopher Miller at St. Joseph’s agrees. The Church asks that prospective godparents be at least 16 years old, confirmed in the Catholic Church and be “active” in the church, he said.
Those are the technical requirements. Beyond that, Miller said, “they may not be there all the time, but they should be a role model in their faith.”
Miller is a godparent to his 8-year-old nephew, who lives several hours away. “I’m still learning myself,” he said.
For Miller, it has meant sending the requisite cards and an occasional “Veggie Tales” video, as well as “passing on the faith.”
“Trying to keep in touch is important,” he said. “And when the opportunity presents itself, I talk about my faith.”
“But it is not to be taken lightly and not just a title of honor,” Miller said.
After choosing godparents eight times for her children, Libby Jaros has given a lot of thought to the subject.
As a child growing up in a military family, she moved a lot and didn’t have much contact with her own godparents.
And as a godparent herself, she is determined to do it differently. “Everyday they are in my prayers,” she said of her godchildren.
With her children, she and her husband have selected friends, as well as relatives to fill the role of godparent.
And for their youngest child, Cecilia, who is just over 2 years old, they got creative.
Her godparents are at the ready with spiritual advice — and family advice, too — since Edward Jaros, 21, and Mary Jaros, 19, are both godparents and siblings to Cecilia.
“I was flattered when my mom asked me,” said Mary, who was only 16 at the time. “It showed me she thought I took my faith seriously.”
Mary, who is a sophomore at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, and Edward, who is a senior at UNL, know that the special designation makes it even more important to stay connected as they grow older.
“As adults, we can be there as role models as Cecilia grows away from our parents,” she said.
Mary’s own godparents, who are family friends, have been around for all of her milestones and also for regular hugs and encouragement. “They set examples raising their own children,” she said.
For now, Mary not only prays for Cecilia, but regularly reads her stories and plays with her. “I love seeing the simplicity in her life right now,” she said. “I know I will make a point of being there for her.”
In many mainline Protestant and nondenominational churches the role of godparent or sponsor is not always as defined as in the Catholic religion.
“Protestants, historically, distanced themselves from the Catholics,” said David McCreary, pastor of Southminster United Methodist Church. “That often meant simplifying or eliminating some of the rituals.”
As a result, McCreary said, there is no official title or church requirement for a godparent in the Methodist church. “It depends on the family,” he said. “We’re open to the idea of family or close friends standing up and offering a supporting role,” he said.
“I see the wisdom in it,” he said. More than just being a physical guardian of the child, McCreary sees the merit in having an assigned role model in a child’s life. “Setting good examples, and showing what it means to serve could be invaluable,” he said.
McCreary said in his counseling discussions with parents before a baptism, they discuss raising the child as a Christian, but “not much beyond that.”
“We’ve been finding our way in the role of godparents,” McCreary said. “But it’s an idea worth rethinking.”
Reach Kathryn Cates Moore at 473-7214 or kmoore@journalstar.com.
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