Cindy Lange-Kubick: A quiz for Husker fans

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So some yahoo left death threats on Husker defensive coordinator Kevin Cosgrove’s voice mail after the Kansas game two weeks ago. Wave a red foam No. 1 finger if you’re surprised.

This is the season we discovered what the best football fans in the nation are made of — and it wasn’t pretty.

Blame it on a confluence of inflated expectations, anonymous idiots on the Internet and uninspired pigskin play, but if we’re the best fans in the land I’d hate to see what the worst serve up to their beloved teams and coaches.

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Burning at the stake, perhaps?

It’s been a tough year for even the most faithful of the Big Red faithful, but perhaps it’s time to put that claim to a test.

Ready to see how you rank?

Caveat: If you’re holed up in your Big Red rec room with a Bill Callahan dartboard, a decade worth of tear-stained media guides and the Baton Rouge want ads, don’t even bother, you’ve already failed.

The rest of you, sharpen a pencil and start to tally:

*  You booed at the Ball State game, the Oklahoma State game or any game thereafter. (2 points per game)

*  You forwarded a cartoon of Steve Pederson and Bill Callahan panhandling to all your buddies. (1 point)

*  You wrote a letter in support of the players, put a stamp on it and mailed it. (Subtract 4 points)

*  You left a game at halftime. (2 points per game)

*  You kept your red-clad behind in your seat to the bitter end of a losing contest. (Subtract 2 points for each loss, 3 if you cheered opposing players for a well-played game as they walked off the field)

*  You wrote a Lincoln Life column calling the former athletic director “the dark lord.” (5 points)

*  You yelled “nonencouraging” words to a coach from the stands. (3 points; add a point if the coach was close enough to hear)

*  You chanted “Fire Cosgrove” at a high school football game that Cosgrove’s kid played in. (5 points)

*  You sold your Husker flag at a garage sale. (1 point)

*  You burned your Husker flag. (2 points)

*  You stuck a “For Sale” sign in a coach’s yard. (5 points)

*  You thought it was funny when you heard people were sticking “For Sale” signs in a coach’s yard. (1 point)

*  You wrote nasty, mean-spirited, illogical comments on Big Red blogs. (3 points)

*  You wrote such nasty, mean-spirited, illogical comments on Big Red blogs that they have banned you from posting them. (7 points)

*  You don’t think the current staff is the best match for your Huskers, but you wish them the best in the future. (Subtract 4 points)

*  You understand football is just a game and the players are just young men and the coaches are only human and that in the big scheme of things, your friends, family, self-respect and sanity are more important than Ws and Ls. (Subtract 2 points)

*  You’re a UNL student and you slam football players on their Facebook accounts. (3 points)

*  You drink yourself into a stupor after every blowout and have changed the dog’s name from “Herbie” to “What the hell was that play?” (4 points)

*  You own a business and predict a Husker victory on every week’s marquee, despite evidence to the contrary. (Subtract 3 points)

*  You don’t own a business but watch every game with hope in your heart and faith The Team will pull through. (Subtract 3 points)

*  You are embarrassed to live in Nebraska because the Huskers have fallen so far so fast. (3 points)

*  You are embarrassed to live in Nebraska because Husker fans have fallen so far so fast. (Subtract 3 points)

*  You called a coach at the office and threatened his life (2 million points)

Add ’em up.

If we’re the best fans in the nation, I’d be surprised.

Who knows, maybe, like our beloved football team, we’ve even fallen out of the Top 25.

Reach Cindy Lange-Kubick at 473-7218 or clangekubick@journalstar.com.