Is your child ready to stay home alone?
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By ERIN ANDERSEN / Lincoln Journal Star
Chances are few parents would forget their kid at home and head off on vacation as did the McCallisters in the "Home Alone" movies. But let's face it, most of us have our own Kevins who truly are approaching the age and maturity of being left home alone — sans bungling burglars.
How do you know if your child is ready? How do you get your child ready? And is summer the best time to say, "Hey, kid, let's try going it alone."
Experts agree on one thing: There is no single right or wrong answer to these questions.
Every child is different. Every home is different. Every parent has different rules.
And so the approach must be individual, said Owen Saunders, Lincoln psychologist who works in Lincoln Public Schools as well as in private practice.
But all parents have the same starting point — and it begins with them.
Ask yourself what are your objectives for your child this summer, Saunders said.
"What skills do you want your child to develop during the summer?" he asked.
"View every day as a part of your child's life."
Summer should not be just a holding pattern until school starts again in the fall, Saunders said. It's a time of learning — especially independence and social skills. Kids may benefit from the responsibilities (and freedoms) that go along with being home alone, but they can be hurt by the isolation, Saunders said.
"Children become socialized by each other and one-to-one contact," he said.
Children can become hostile, angry and aggressive if they do not socialize with other kids their age, and chatting on the Internet is not adequate socialization, according to Saunders.
"Children need social opportunities. They learn how to relate to other people from experiences," he said.
So once you have your objectives for your child, then you can tailor these strategies to fit you and your child's needs:
1. Teach your child how to handle the things you want them to handle. Practice responding to different situations, just like schools practice fire drills. Make a list of "what you would do if …" and review and rehearse.
2. Figure out a way to ensure your child will have experiences to enhance social skills. Make arrangements for them to see friends, attend camps or participate in clubs.
3. Create a to-do list for kids. Don't link chores with allowances, but teach kids that chores are their part of the family responsibilities. Give kids a say in when they do the chores, but help them plan their day so time doesn't waste away.
4. Give kids the emergency plan. That means arm a kid with all the necessary telephone numbers they will need in case of an emergency
"Visualize what you want your kid's life to be like, set a plan and plan the opportunities for them," Saunders said.
Reach Erin Andersen at 473-7217 or eandersen@journalstar.com.
Summer camps
Looking for some place fun and nearby to let your kids socialize for a few days or a week?
Area organizations offer a variety of summer camps for families to choose from.
Here are a few of the offerings available:
* Lincoln Parks and Recreation Department hosts a variety of elementary (grades kindergarten through fourth) and midlevel (grades fifth through seventh) summer day camps. K-4 camps are located at Air Park West, F Street and Irving recreation centers and Mickle Middle School. A Spanish language immersion program/camp is held at the Arts & Humanities School. Midlevel camps are held at Belmont, Calvert, Irving, Mickle and Park schools. Most camps start next week. For information call 441-7952.
* Folsom Children's Zoo has a series of weeklong camps for preschoolers accompanied by adults and kids ages 5 to 12. In addition it offers a ZooCamp, Aug. 22-26 for kids who want to learn all about the zoo, and Sunday Pony Clinics from 9 to 10:30 a.m. on select Sundays. For information call 475-6741 or log on to www.LincolnZoo.org.
* Pioneers Park Nature Center hosts Wilderness Nature Camp, a series of weeklong camps for kids ages 6 to 12. Camps include Raptor Rap, Hungry Hunters, Super Sleuths, Wet and Wild and Survival Savvy. Camps run 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. For information call 441-7985.
* Arbor Day Farm, Nebraska City, Discovery Camp is set for July 10-16. It's open to kids ages 9 to 12. Space is limited. To learn more write to The National Arbor Day Foundation, 211 N. 12th St., Lincoln, NE 68508 or e-mail education@arborday.org.
* Summer Dance Camp hosted by the Lincoln Midwest Ballet Company, Aug. 1-10 at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Open to dancers ages 7 and up. Prior dance experience is recommended, but not required. Classes are formed by age with no auditions or placement required. For information call 477-8446 or download an application at www.artsincorporated.org/lmbc/campbrochure.pdf.
* Flight Camps at the Strategic Air & Space Museum. Variety of day camps, resident camps, weekend flight camps and an all new astronaut academy offered. Camps are open to kids ages 8 to 16. For information call (402) 827-3100 or log on to www.strategicairandspace.com.
* Lincoln Children's Museum offers weeklong camps for kids in kindergarten through fifth grades that run from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. daily. Camps include Animals and Me, Multicultural Camp, All About Your Garden, Is that Really Art, Magnificent Magnets, Camp Creativity, Archaeology Camp, What's for Dinner, Pioneers in Nebraska, Wacky Wonderful Science, More Than Music, On Stage, and Flight. There is a different camp every week of the summer. For information call 477-0128.
* Bright Lights summer enrichment program for elementary and middle school students. Half-day classes run for one week. In addition there are all-day weeklong camps for older students. Sessions are June 13-17, July 11-15 and July 18-22. Hands-on classes allow students to investigate hobbies and interests. Classes range from literature to water, from building with Legos to cycling the Mopac Trail, from exploring Harry Potter to Willy Wonka, American Girl and Little House on the Prairie. For information call 420-1115 or log on to www.brightlights.org.
Rules to live by
Whether your child is home alone for an hour or an entire day, don't leave home without leaving a definite set of rules.
Some topics to consider for rules and consequences:
* Screen time — TV, computer and video games.
* Restrictions on electronics — from Web sites they can visit, to e-mailing, instant messaging and computer chatting, to TV shows that can be watched and music that can be listened to.
* Snack foods — what is allowed and how much is allowed.
* Household tasks — what do you expect them to accomplish while you are gone.
* Visitors — from which friends can visit them while they are home alone to which friends they can go visit. Will you limit how many friends can be in the house at one time?
* Leaving the house or the yard. Swimming in the backyard pool. Running through the sprinkler.
* Kitchen — what appliances can they use, what are their clean-up responsibilities.
* Off-limits — make it clear that power tools, firearms, your personal items are all off-limits, as is any alcohol in the house. Lock up firearms so they cannot be accessed by kids.
* Setting check-in times when kids need to call you. Also, it doesn't hurt to call them unannounced to see how they are doing and offer some words of encouragement.
* Who's in charge — if more than one child is staying home designate who is in charge of whom. Make sure the child in charge knows the limits of his or her power.
Sources: Lincoln Public Schools; Girl Scouts; Familyfun.com; Teenagerstoday.com and North Dakota State University Extension.
Be prepared
You can't foresee the future, but you can prepare your child for the unforeseen. Here are some possible dilemmas you should talk about before leaving your child home alone:
* Getting locked out of the house
* Strangers at the door or on the telephone
* A fire
* A storm
* Smelling smoke
* A home accident
* Power outage
* Arguments with siblings
* Animal bite or bee sting
* Becoming ill
Make sure you leave a list of emergency numbers by every phone in your home. On that list include work and cell phone numbers of parents, trusted adults, nearby neighbors and relatives. Also include 911, because in an emergency, people can forget the sequence of numbers to dial.
Sources: Lincoln Public Schools; Girl Scouts; Familyfun.com; Teenagerstoday.com and North Dakota State University Extension.
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